36 reasons I love my Husband

Mr and Mrs. Brett Sapp

36 years of marriage, and 8 years of  friendship before that.  Brett entered my life when I was 10 years old. I could never have imagined when I first met this blond haired, dark eyed boy, that  years later I would have spent most of my life with him.   But I have and it has been an amazing ride.  So, to commemorate those 36 years I am listing 36 of the top things I love about this man.

1.   That he makes me laugh every day.  Even when I don't want to.
2.   That he still has those beautiful dark eyes, that I feel  can see into my soul.
3.   That he is an amazing Dad.
4.   That he still says "hold me"
5.   That he is a man of integrity.
6.   That his hair is now salt and pepper.
7.   That he has great calf muscles.
8.   That he has a servants heart.
9.   That he loves the beach as much as I do.
10. That he knows how to say I am sorry.
11.  The laugh lines around his eyes.
12.  That he still thinks farting is funny.
13.  That he is a hard worker.
14.  That little kids, dogs and old ladies love him.
15.  That he sings in the bathroom in the mornings when he is getting ready.
16.  That he takes forever to brush his teeth.
17.  That he is a great leader.
18.  His passion for celebrate recovery.
19.  When he reaches for my hand in the car.
20.  Vacation Brett.
21.  The way he looks in a baseball cap.
22.  Sleeping next to him.
23.  The way he always tries to second guess what I want when we are making a decision.
24.  That his glass is always half full.
25.  That he is a cubs fan, so I know he will never give up on me.
26.  His smile.
27.  His obsession with making sure the yard is mowed.
28.  That he loves his Mamma.
29.  His desire to please God.
30.  His love of chips and ice cream, not together.
31.  The sound of my name on his lips.
32.  That he never says anything about how much money I spend or how much I shop.
33.  That he gets me a tea every Sunday morning on his way to church.
34.  That he is a very generous and giving person.
35.  The way he swings his arms when he walks.
36.  That he has made the last 36 years an amazing journey!!!!

Brett - Thank You for the young man you were 36 years ago on this day.  Even more thank you for letting God transform you into the amazing man and husband you are today.  I cannot wait to see what the next 36 years holds for us.  Love you to Pluto and back (because it is farther than the moon).  

1 Peter 4:8 "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."

Bed Bugs - Yikes

Recently Brett and 4 of his leaders had the chance to attend the Celebrate Recovery Summit in Tennessee.  This is an annual training event to meet with thousands of other celebrate recovery leaders. A chance to share ideas, get recharged, hear great speakers, listen to a great band.  They all came back charged up with new ideas to take them into the next year.

Brett actually had a very new experience this year.  He encountered bed bugs at his hotel the first night.  The hotel was quick to move him to another room and give him instructions on how to get rid of them.  Needless to say I was not excited about the thought of him bringing any of his new "friends" home with him.

When he arrived home I did all but make him strip down on the front porch and throw away all of his clothes.  I wanted to do that, but didn't know if the neighbor's would think it was such a good idea.  He did immediately throw all of his clothes in the washer and put his suitcase on the deck for 3 days. Thank goodness for the 90+ degree weather.

While reading up on bed bugs I found some similarities between bed bugs and Satan.  Imagine that.

First, apparently bed bugs do not like the light and will disappear if you turn the lights on.  Think about it.  Satan hates the light.  When we shine the light of God's word on our lives, with the truth Satan takes off running.

Second, according to Brett you don't feel bed bugs biting during the night.  You only discover they were there the next morning when you break out with itching bites all over you.  Satan is also sly that way.  He bites with a lie, you might not notice the first bite but then you can't leave it alone.  It continues to itch and fester till you scratch it.  Leaving a sore and maybe a scar.

For me that can look a number of ways.

The lie - because some lady at a baseball game when I was 12 thought I was a boy I now look in the mirror and a lot of times don't like what I see.

The lie - jealousy - I want her life, I want her talent, that should be mine, why doesn't God give me what I want?

The lie - Finding my self worth in the things I do, or what people think of me.

You have to treat to get rid of bed bugs, we have to treat to get rid of Satan.

First step you have to remove the bed bugs.  You have to strip everything away and spray for them.  Same way with Satan you first have to strip everything away, admit you are a sinner and turn to Jesus.

Then you have to treat the bites.  You have to put some type of cream or salve on them.  Same way with the lies.

The lie of how I look - God says I created you, and you are beautiful to me.

The lie of jealousy - God says I have a purpose and a plan for your life that I have for no one else.

The lie of self worth - God says you are mine and I sent my Son to die for you.  Your worth is found in ME and ME alone.

Bed bugs are a horrible, crawling thing that scatter when the light comes on.  Satan is a horrible, crawling thing that scatters when we shed the light of truth from God's word on our lives.

Live in the light and you avoid the bed bugs.  Live in the light and you avoid Satan's lies.

Ephesians 5: 8-9 "for you were formerly darkness, but now you are light in the Lord; walk as children   of the light - for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth."

Needless to say "Don't let the bed bugs bite" has new meaning at our house.

Same cliff different oceans

Recently something happen that made me feel like I was on a cliff, standing by myself.  I felt like I had been left completely alone.  That everyone else had moved on and I had gotten left behind.  I think we all have those times.  Times where we are standing on a ledge, alone, looking out over something.  Kind of like when you are looking out over the ocean.  The view can be beautiful if you stay focused on the horizon. But when we take our eyes off the horizon and look down we see sharp rocks and treacherous terrain.

I think at some point in our lives we all stand on that cliff.  The cliff is the same, but the ocean and the rocks below are different.  The cliff is loneliness, desolation, deep despair.  It is that point where we feel alone, where we believe no one else can understand how we feel.  That no one else has stood where we are, or has ever been there before.

Even though the cliff is the same the rocks below change.  It may be that you are the last of your circle to marry.  It may be that you have experienced a miscarriage or lost a child.  It may be depression. It may be infertility.  It may be divorce. It may be dealing with a child who has lost their way. It may be the loss of a spouse.  It may be dealing with aging parents.  It may be unknown constant pain.  It may be the guilt of abortion.  It is something that makes you feel as if no one else has experienced what you are going through.  Isolation.

It can be a lonely place.  A place you don't want to be, and a place you don't really want anyone to know you are.  Because it feels so selfish.  It feels so internal.  It feels so deep, and gut wrenching at the bottom of your core.

At that cliffs edge you make a choice.  You make a choice to focus on the rocks below or lift your eyes and concentrate on the horizon.  The rocks are always the easiest choice because your head is probably already down.  To seek the horizon takes effort, you have to physically lift your head up and lift your eyes.

But that is where God meets us.  When we look up.  When we seek his face.  When we say I can't do this alone.  When we allow him to, God fills that space of isolation.  But first we have to look up.

Psalm 123:1 "I LIFT MY EYES TO YOU, O GOD, ENTHRONED IN HEAVEN"

Yearly Review

One thing about working for your family is that there are no yearly reviews.  A part of me misses them, because lets face it, they are a form of validation.  If your love language is words of encouragement and your a people pleaser a review is validation.

I do remember yearly reviews at Edward Jones though.  I worked at a call center in their insurance services department.  If you have ever worked at a call center you know that your main goal is to answer as many calls as kindly, and efficiently as possible.  At some point you reach your max, you can only do so many in a matter of time.

As I was reading in Ephesians this morning I was reminded of reviews.  As I read Ephesians 1:14 the last half of the verse says "he purchased us to be his own people.  He did this so we would praise  and glorify him."  Praise and glorify HIM.  God's plan has always been for us to praise and glorify him. That's my job here on earth.  Like the number of calls at Jones that is my one goal, praise and glorify the father.  I wondered how does my yearly review look?  How does yours look?

After being on the call center for a few years at Jones I became a team leader.  For me doing reviews on other people was not as enjoyable as being the one reviewed.  It was important to balance out positive and negative feed back for people and give both in a positive manner.  To not just focus on what they needed to improve on.

But you know what else we read in Ephesians?  Ephesians 1:4 "Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes."  That blows my mind, because that people pleaser in me struggles with God's review of me.  That he sees me holy and without fault.  But he doesn't see me that way because of me or anything that I have done or not done. He doesn't see me that way because I do such a good job at praising and glorifying him (because I fall short so often).  He sees me that way because of his Son Jesus.  It's like Jesus steps in that review, stands in front of me and blocks all the bad things so God doesn't see them.  My pride, my anger, my selfishness, my bad mood, those darkest things in my heart, and thoughts in my head that I want no one else to see.   When I become his child, Jesus blocks all those and God, the creator of the universe, the CEO of the world sees me as a perfect employee.

Thank you God for sending your son to stand in my place.

The Circle of Love

Thanks to the movie "The Lion King", we are all familiar with the circle of life.  But are you also familiar with the circle of Love?

My earliest memories of the circle of love are from my Grandma Hank's house.  When I was growing up I would get to go to my Grandma's house when my Dad or my Aunt came in.  Since they lived out of town when they would visit everyone would come to my Grandma's to see them.  There would be aunts, uncles, cousins and friends who would just stop by my Grandma's house.  After supper (which was always the best fried chicken and gravy in the world), everyone would gather in the living room.  Everyone would be in chairs in a circle around the whole living room .  The adults would entertain me by letting me play hide the thimble or I spy while they were visiting.

They would catch up on what was going on in the world, in the community, in the family.  It was far better than facebook could ever imagine.  It was a time to share hard times that were going on, but more importantly it was a time to share memories.  I remember them telling stories of, remember when so and so did this........  I can still hear my Grandma's laugh.  She loved to listen and tell those stories.  How I would give anything to sit and listen to some of those stories again, to write them out for future generations.  

I had the chance to experience that again this weekend.  Brett and I spent 5 days in Wisconsin with his family.  His Mom, Aunt, siblings and a group of cousins.  This is a yearly tradition and I am so thankful for the opportunity to share in this.   When they can they rent a house big enough to accommodate everyone.  So much homier than hotel rooms and there is something about all staying under the same roof that brings you together.

We spent a lot of the weekend rallied in that circle.  A circle in the backyard enjoying the great Wisconsin weather.  A circle at night huddled around the campfire. A circle around the dinner table.  Stories and new memories galore.

Monday night, the last night before we left, some of us were sitting around the big dining room table. In that beloved circle.  Brett started asking some questions of his Mom and Aunt that he and Scott had not been able to answer earlier in the day.  Suddenly, everyone was in a big circle listening to these two monarchs of the family.  They both began to share stories of when they were growing up. Some brought tears and some brought laughter, but everyone in that circle was totally engaged.  No one was on their phones, no one was talking.  Everyone was listening, soaking up these stories of their parents, their grandparents, their heritage. I would say it was one of the best parts of the trip. Thank You Dalyne and Betty Fae for being so open and honest for sharing the past with us.

Does your family need to put down their phones for an evening and enjoy the circle of love?

Psalm 78:4 "We will not keep them from our children; we will tell the next generation about the Lord's power and his great deeds and the wonderful things he has done."