Scattered

I haven't blogged for awhile and part of the reason is this.

I wonder as princess Kate carries this future king or queen, do you think she ever contemplates what Mary must have felt like, carrying the King of Kings. What must it have been like for Mary?  Why don't we read anything about Mary's parents in the bible? My heart has heard you say. 'Come and talk with me', and my heart responds, 'Lord I am coming'.  God why isn't my response just, Lord I am here?  Why do I sometimes feel like I am constantly saying, 'just this one more thing Lord, then I will sit and be still'.  Progressive dinner what am I going to make?  God what are you trying to teach me about prayer?  Why has Robbey been teaching about it, why have I been reading a book about it, why have I listened to 4 podcast on it???  Why God?  What do you hold in store for me with prayer in the New Year?  I need to pick up a new prayer journal.  I love to start out brand new fresh journal pages.  I need to make another trip to Wal-Mart.  I keep adding to my Christmas list.  The weekend with Brett was so relaxing.  Why is it I can't, or won't, or refuse to relax like that at home?  Why am I always jumping up to do something, or start something or making a list of things to do???   Prayer really God? I haven't accomplished this thing of be still and know I am God, why would you add prayer on to it now???

This is why I haven't blogged I can't get one still logical thought in my head.

Do you ever feel like that?  Like your mind is going 200 miles an hour, and you just can't stop and focus on anything?  Part of it is Christmas.  The rush of the season.  Don't get me wrong I am a person who loves the hustle and bustle of the season.  I love the excitement of decorating, and shopping, and wrapping and going, but this year is seems like my mind just can't keep up with my body.  It must be that second half of life, unable to focus thing.  Or at least that is my excuse for this week.    

Even though I love the excitement of the season, this year my heart is feeling the jet lag of it all.  And I realized it is because the busier I get, the less focused I become on my relationship with God.  I know He is there, I know we are walking together, or in my case running together, but we aren't sitting down and being.  I am not taking time to just "be" in the presence of my Savior and my heart misses it.  And it just hit me, maybe I am catching on to some of that "just be still and know".  Maybe it is time to add, not substitute, but add more focus on prayer.

Do I have it all figured out?  NO.  Do I have it all together? NO.  But once in a while a piece does start to fall into place, once in awhile.  I am learning to just be thankful for those pieces that fit.  I don't have to have it all figured out Romans 11:33 says "Have you ever come on anything quite like this extravagant generosity of God. This deep deep wisdom? It's way over our heads; we'll never figure it out."  So I don't have to have it all figured out I just have to know the One who does.

Sheila Walsh said "I take great comfort, I don't have to get it all right, I don't have to have all the answers.  I just have to stay really close to the shepherd, and one of these days I'll discover that it's taken me all the way home."  

So, if you, like me, find yourself running in 8 different directions over the next two weeks, take comfort that you don't have to have all the answers.  But you will find some peace if you stop all 8 of you at one time, breathe, and say thank you God that You do have all the answers.
Thanks for reading!