After two years of being a part of Celebrate Recovery, I was able to determine that trust is something I have an issue with. I was able to see that stuffing my feelings, trying to control everything in my life, and being a people pleaser, stemmed from lack of trust. Trust in others and trust in myself. I also realized that when you have a problem trusting others, usually that over flows into your christian walk and your trust in God.
But once you realize your issues you are able to start working on them, turning them over to God and turning them around. God stretched that trust for me just a little this week.
Last Sunday I was sitting in church, and just about the time Robbey started to preach I could hear sleet or really hard rain on the metal roof of our church. It was really loud and distracting for everyone, but particularly for me. The youth were coming back from Dare To Share in St. Louis. The weather had been bad since they left that morning in fact, it was so bad, that they decided to leave earlier than planned. Now I didn't have any youth in that group. However, all four of my grown children (my kids and their spouses) were on that bus as leaders.
I was most distracted because my son Chris was driving the church bus(regulation school bus). He had just gotten his CDL license and this was his first trip. Now don't get me wrong, he is a very responsible and careful driver. However, driving a bus load of youth in a winter storm is a big responsibility.
Needless to say, I didn't really hear anything Robbey preached that morning (sorry Robbey, I am sure it was a good message). My mind was busy bouncing back and forth between praying and worrying. Kind of an oxymoron the two are not really suppose to go together.
When we got to the worship part of the service at the end, we sang Hillsong United's "Cornerstone". God began to speak to my heart through those words. Through the storm, He is Lord, Lord of all. I rest on His unchanging grace. My anchor holds. In that still small voice God said, "do you not trust me? If something happen and that bus wrecked, and something happen to all four of your kids, would I still be your God? Would you still worship me? Would you still trust me?"
I didn't want to flippantly just say yes? I thought about it through the rest of that song and through the next song. And finally I said "God I am praying that bus makes it back safe, but if it doesn't, You would still be my God, I would still love you, I would still worship you." If you know me at all you know that was a big step of trust for me to voice.
Let me say there was no one happier to see that bus pull in the parking lot than me. And as each of my four kids came in that door I gave them a tight hug.
Is God calling you to some area of trust this week?
Proverbs 3: 5-6 "Trust in The Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."
Chris good job, proud of you!!!!!
Thanks for reading.
