Anyone who has been following me for awhile knows I struggle with quiet time. Not time sitting down and reading my bible quiet time, but being still and silent quiet time. I think I have determined where some of that comes from, but that doesn't make it go away.
So, this morning I read the bible and just sat still for a little while. It was silent and totally quiet and I didn't freak out. I didn't run through 8 lists in my head. I didn't sit there thinking I should be up putting clothes in the washer, or rushing out the door to get to work. I didn't sit there thinking it's quiet, I am still, God should be speaking. Sometimes I think I get confused and think that's what quiet time has to be, God speaking. As if I am saying God I took 10 minutes to sit still You should speak to me now. I just soaked up the peacefulness of it. AND I LIKED IT.
Then it hit me this is what God wants me to find in this. PEACE. If I soak up enough of it, if I get comfortable with it, then in those times when my life is rushed I should be able to find that peace in my heart. On those days at work when 8 people are talking at once, the TV is on, and the phone is ringing off the hook I should be able to draw on that peace.
On days when things are not going the way I want them to, when it seems like there are more things to do than hours in the day. You know those days when you don't even take a full breathe. Those weeks when I don't have a single night at home. Those times when I feel like I have nothing left to give anyone. I should be able to find that place of peace because it should be in my heart. It should be rooted deeply there.
I was thinking through all of that on my way to work, and I thought about a song. You know me music, lyrics. However, this wasn't any grand christian song. It's actually a pop song from the 70's or maybe 80's. So, if you aren't in that second half of life or fast approaching it you probably won't even know the song. It is actually a song by Air Supply called "Making love out of Nothing at All". There is a line in the song that I love because it makes me think of Brett, but today it wasn't Brett I thought of.
The line goes "The beating of my heart is like a drum and it's lost and it's looking for a rhythm like you". I thought, that line matches my train of thought this morning. On those days like this morning when my heart gets it right and it finds that rhythm of God it's a perfect morning. When my heart finds that beat and beats in tune with God I find that peace that we all so desperately grave.
My son Chris is a drummer, and he has been told by more than one person that he has natural rhythm. We all have a natural rhythm where God is concerned. But, it's when I try and take over that the rhythm gets off beat. I don't think God intends for us to beat to our own drum. I think he wants us to beat to His. If I can learn to let my heart maintain that natural rhythm with God, and keep that steady beat, peace might be more consistent in my life. This is one of those areas where I am a slow learner, but I like the glimpses of what I see.
John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you........"
