Judas WENT

So this week as I was reading in Matthew.  I came across a verse I am sure I  read many times.  But it was one of those where it was as if it was suddenly just put in my bible.  Like it hadn't been there before, like I had never read it.  When I know I had to have.

The verse is Matthew 26:14, " Then Judas Iscariot, one of the twelve disciples, went to the leading priests and asked, How much will you pay me to betray Jesus to you?"

Judas WENT to the religious leaders. His betrayal took on another level for me.  My heart broke at this verse for the first time.

It wasn't as if the religious leaders studied the disciples and sought Judas out as the weak link that they might be able to convince.  It wasn't as if Judas came upon a meeting of the disciples and they were able to suck him in.  Judas went to them and asked what will you give me, how can I benefit by betraying my friend, my mentor, my Lord?

It's one thing to commit murder in the heat of an argument or lose your temper, and take a life.  It's another thing to set out and plot and scheme to take someone's life.

It's one thing to commit adultery with a drunken one night stand.  It's another thing to intentionally whoa, and pursue another person when you have a spouse.

It's one thing to tell a simple lie like when a friend says, how does my new hair cut look?  It's another thing to intentionally build your life on lies.

Or is it?

I say I believe sin is sin and that I don't believe in levels of sin.  If that is what I believe then it does''t matter if intent is involved.  Truth is if I am living my life with Jesus as the center there are not levels of sin.

If my life is right with God then I should not put myself  in a situation where my anger could get that far out of hand.  I wouldn't be in a situation to be in a drunken one night stand.  If I really live my life on truth I would find a way to tell my friend I liked her hair better the other way.

Jesus was not surprised by Judas betrayal he knew it had to be done to fulfill scripture.  It didn't hurt him more that Judas went to the leaders or if the leaders had come to him.  It was betrayal either way.

I should live my life and examine my life based on what I  say I believe.  That sin is sin no matter what, that there isn't an out to explain my sin away intentional or not.  But how do we do that?

 One step, wherever you are now take the next step closer to Jesus.  Not sure how to do that?  Come visit us at Redemption Church on Sunday mornings at 10:00 AM.  Or private message me.  I would love to share.

Pro-Choice to Pro-Life

Until about 15 years ago I could have been labeled pro-choice. (Don't just shut me off and stop reading.)  Even though I was a christian there was a part of me that in certain situations believed that a woman had a right to make that choice.  In situations of rape, incest, or where there was no hope for life after the womb. Maybe there were better options.  I didn't think it would be a right decision for me, but I felt the option should be there in certain circumstances.

Fast forward to where I am now.  I don't believe abortion is ever God's plan.  I believe that every life matters, and is a gift from God, and the few women I know who have had abortions, still carry deep scars of guilt and regret.

How I got here is kind of ironic.  Infertility.

I have had contact with so many people in the last 6 to 7 years who have walked the dark, lonely path of infertility.  Women who are friends, women who have crossed my path for a short season, and women who are the closest and dearest women to my heart.  Their stories changed my view and changed my heart.

As I watched these women struggle, as my heart has broken for them.  My heart changed.  It is so hard to watch people you love deal with this struggle in their lives.  I would question God.  I would question God with anger and bitterness.  Why have you put this person in my life who can't take care of their self yet they are pregnant?  Why is this 15 year old girl pregnant when she doesn't even have anyone to take care of her?  Why is this Mom who has had 2 children taken away by the court system now pregnant again?  Why is this person who is addicted to drugs pregnant?  Why is there a pregnancy in this marriage that is falling apart?  Yet, this couple who so desperately wants a child, who love each other, and would raise it to love you are unable to conceive?  

Every time I asked those "why" questions, God answered, because I chose.  The only way I could come to terms with infertility in all these women I loved, was to accept that God is the giver of life. Sometimes God is protecting in ways we cannot even begin to understand in the moment.  Yet every time I questioned, God said to my heart, I am the giver of life.  Me alone.  You have to trust.  So, if I trust that God for what ever reason or purpose doesn't create life, then I also have to believe that each life that is created is for a reason and purpose.

I believe that.  I believe only God can create life.  I believe he has a plan and purpose for every life and it is not mine to question.  There are still times in honest emotion that I say God I just don't see this one.  I don't understand. I don't see how there can be any good in this, yet I trust that you are sovereign.

So, I do believe in pro-choice.  I just disagree on what those choices are.  I believe every woman has the right to choose or not to choose to have sex.  And I believe that every woman has the right to choose to keep her baby or choose adoption.  But, I believe only God has the right to choose life.

We don't have to look very far in The Bible to find scripture to support this.

Genesis 2:27 says "So, GOD created human beings in his own image.  In the image of God HE created them; male and female HE created them.

God alone is the giver and taker of life.

*This blog was not intended to condemn, or hurt anyone who has abortion in their past.  I could never begin to judge the decisions that someone else has had to make without walking in their shoes.  This is just a stance of where my faith has brought me.              
                

Satan holds us hostage

This past weekend was the big yard sale for the Douglas Adoption Project.  Though it was a lot of work it was worth it and it was fun. There was time to sit and chat with volunteers.  People I don't get a chance to sit with, or talk with on a regular basis so that was fun.

During one of those times when we were slow I observed something during one of our conversations.  Apparently there is one little thing Satan is able to use that hold all of us hostage.  It doesn't matter if you are young or old, male or female, big or small, black or white.  The one little thing isn't even the same little thing for everyone.  That one thing is a number.  The number on the scale.

KC was talking about weighing that morning and being depressed by the number she saw on the scale.  Everyone began to share their scale theories.  Everyone agreed weighing in the morning was the best time, preferable before your shower because clothes do add weight.

I confessed that I had even tried standing at the back of the scale and the front of the scale just to see if I could get a lower number.  Apparently I am not the only one who has tried that.  Thanks Susan for not making me feel crazy.  Chris confessed he weighs before getting in the shower because that weight is lower than after getting out.  Water hydrates you or something and can add weight.  Many of us knew that trick.  And everyone agreed wet hair weighs more than dry hair.

But as I listened to this group of various people I began to realize that most of us are consumed in some way by this number.  A simple number on a scale.

Why is that?  Why if I am feeling good one morning and I step on the scale and it is up instead of down my mood drops?  My self image didn't change simply by stepping on that scale.  My weight didn't change just by seeing the number, my attitude about the number I saw is all that changed.

My image,  my worth, who I am doesn't change with the change of the number.  It shouldn't, but for most of us it seems to have a big impact.  Satan uses that little number to make me doubt my worth, make me doubt if people will like me, make me doubt what I am capable of doing or being.

Romans 12:1 "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship."

My body is a gift from God, no matter what the number on the scale says.  I am to present it as a living sacrifice.  And it is holy and acceptable to God. It isn't acceptable because of the number the scale says.  It is acceptable to God because He purchased it with His Son's blood.  The cost far outweighs the number on the scale.  So, lets agree to not let Satan hold us hostage to a tiny thing like a number on a scale.

I DO SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF

I was talking to a friend the other day. She asked me if we had any leads on our house selling yet.  I said no, and I was OK with that right now.  I realized there is a lot going on the rest of this month and I would be freaking out if I were in the middle of looking for a house right now.

I said I am really OK with the house right now.  That I was at peace with it.  That if it was going to sell it would, and it would sell on God's time.  And if it doesn't sell than I am convinced that meant we weren't suppose to sell and God would provide.

She said what a good place to be.  At peace.

It is.  There are not a lot of areas that I am at peace on, but I am at peace on our house selling and I am at peace with Will and Brittany's adoption.  I am at peace that no matter what happens in the upcoming election God is still on the throne and in control.

So, it isn't the big stuff that gets me.  The major adjustments and events in life don't usually knock me down.

But, I do sweat the small stuff.  When little things fall apart.  Like when the schedule at work is set and a driver can't run that makes me lose it.  Or if I have to change my plan, that makes me lose it.  When I think I have things under control and something upsets my apple cart, that stresses me out.

I thought about this for a little while and I know what it is.  The big things are out of my control.  I know that and accept that so I am comfortable turning those over to God and finding peace in the fact that He is in control.

It's those small things like schedules, and plans, and people, and ministry, and controllable things that throw me for a loop.  Why?  Simple - I can depend on myself for those things.  I can depend on my own abilities to make sure they work out.

In the small things I depend on me and not on God, because I feel like I can control it, I feel like I can do it myself.  Just like a small child as they start to stretch their independence.  "I can do it by myself."  But that is not what God intends even in the day to day simple things.

Proverbs 16:9 says "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps".  My old inside self wants to plan everything, to have everything in it's spot where I think it belongs and how it goes.  However, all my planning in the world isn't going to change the path God has already set in place in my life.  God establishes my steps, the giant steps and the baby steps.  I just need to put one foot in front of the other and let him lead the way.  

Do you sweat the small stuff??