I SAID NO

Recently I watched a young Mom in the store.  She was struggling with a "willful" 3 or 4 year old.  She was basically arguing with him.  Never a good idea and most times ends bad for the parent.  I felt for her, I remember those days.  I wanted to cheer her on.  Instead I watched the scene unfold.  She started out strong with,  I said NO.  The child just kept going, he kept getting louder and people started staring.  I give her some credit she held out for a little while but eventually gave in.

I thought of that this morning, as I was praying to God for something I have been praying about for a long time.  I wondered if I sounded like a "willful" 54 year old.  I think God wants us to continue to bring our hearts desires to him, but not in a begging way.  Not in a temper tantrum way.

He reminded me of another time I prayed, and I begged, I got angry and I pouted when I didn't get my way.  But he is a "good, good Father", and in that situation, when I could see the end, God was protecting me and my family in ways that I could not even imagine at the time.

Saying no to our kids isn't mean parenting.  God says no to us on numerous occasions.  He does it because he loves us and protects us.  We are becoming a nation that doesn't know how to tell our kids no.  Which means in turn we are raising a generation of kids who do not know how to deal with rejection or not getting their way.  When they don't know how to deal with no, then they turn to drugs, alcohol, pornography,  and relationships.  Searching for something to fill the void of rejection, because we have not taught them how to deal with a reality of life NO.

My kids would push the limit, they were not saints.  Yet, at the same time I think I must have had a look that said this is the line and don't step over it.  They knew they were free to continue past that line, they also knew there was the chance of consequences if they did.  I think God lets us push also, but we have to realize there may be a point, if he has thrown out tons of barricades in our path, maybe he is telling us we should switch paths.

1 John 4:18a  says "Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear."

God's love is always perfect, whether I accept it that way or not doesn't change that it is.

Good parenting is always good parenting whether your child accepts it that way or not doesn't change that it is.

Do I Really Practice Generosity?

                       



Can I really say that I am a generous person?  Sure, I will pick up the person's order behind me at McDonald's in the morning.  It is usually a tea or coffee rarely over $5.00.  Is $5.00 really a sacrifice to me?  Am I going to have to do without something if I spend that $5.00?  No.

I also donate to Renew, is that being generous?  Not really, what do I usually donate?  Things that no longer fit, things that I no longer like, things that are probably out of style.  Things that I feel I no longer need.  Things that I probably didn't need when I purchased them.  That is not being generous, that is cleaning out my closet.  I don't donate my favorite shirt or favorite pair of flip flops.

Doing those things are kind, but they are not really sacrificial giving.

I had something happen last week that has really made me stop and think about my giving.

I went to McDonald's last week on my way to work to pick up my normal morning tea.  I have been blessed on more than one occasion by someone in front of me buying my order.  And it always makes my day.  It makes me smile, feel thankful, and reminds me there are still nice people running around.
On this morning when I pulled up to the window the girl said he paid for your order.  I said who the person in front of me?  She smiled and said no he did, as she pointed to her fellow employee standing there by her.  There were 3 employees standing there together.  I could tell by their smiles that they had probably taken turns paying for orders.

I was very humbled.  This was not a kid who probably lived at home with his parents.  These were all adult employees.  This was someone who works hard for his money, who probably doesn't make much more than the minimum wage.  Yet he sacrificially paid for my drink.  I almost had tears in my eyes.  I said that is so nice, you don't know how much you made my day.  I couldn't say thank you enough.

Is my giving a sacrifice?  Does it really cost me anything?  Do I even notice the impact of my giving on my wallet?

Jesus gave us the perfect example of sacrificial giving.  His life.   It cost him everything and impacted the world. My generosity doesn't even begin to come close.

Matthew 6:21 "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."  

What do I want to be when I grow up?

                                                           


                             

I have this really sweet friend named Melissa.  Melissa is in college and struggling with what she really wants to do with her life.  It really is a sucky system you know.  We ask these poor young people to decide what they want to do with the rest of their life, before they even get out of high school.  They barely are learning who they are, let alone what they want to do forever.  It is very stressful Melissa I do feel for you.

In fact I still find myself asking what I want to do with my life. In St Louis I had this very bad habit of changing careers every 5 years.  Not just jobs, I would start completely over in a new field.  I like change.  I have worked in day care, many different retail stores, customer service in the automotive field, medical field, financial industry, and now the transportation industry.  That is quiet a wide variety of not knowing what I want to do.

In fact even in serving I struggle with what am I suppose to be doing?  Am I in the area God wants me to be in?  Am I where God wants me to be in my job, in my service??  Does God really care where I work or where I serve?  I know God has a plan for my life.  I know he gives me certain talents and gifts to use.  But is God really as concerned about where I use them, as he is to how I use them?

I believe what God really wants is for me to imitate Him wherever I am.

1.  To work as he did, with integrity.  Colossians 3:23 "Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people."  Makes sense right?  If no matter what job I am doing I apply myself as if I am doing it for God then I should be bringing my very best.

2.  To love others as he did. Ephesians 4:32 "Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."  Wow, what would the work force look like if we applied this verse every day?  If I were kind and forgiving each day instead of mean and selfish how would my work place change?

3.  To always put Him first.  Proverbs 3:6 "In everything you do, put God first, and he will direct you and crown your efforts with success."  Pretty straight forward right?  If I make sure to always put God first and never let my job come before him this verse says I will succeed.  Not that I will be rich but that I will succeed.

So, I believe if  we imitate Him, no matter what we do, we will be at peace and succeed in whatever career path we choose.  Even if we change careers every 5 years.            

Friendships

Got to spend the weekend with one of my favorite people.  My friend Elaine came over from St Louis to speak at a ladies retreat for Redemption Church.  Talk about a circle of life.  Elaine comes to speak at a retreat on friendships, and our friendship really developed over serving together at retreats.

She and I spent hours together cooking for youth retreats, ladies retreats, and children's retreats.  Which also meant that we spent many wee hours of the morning awake talking.  Opening up becomes easier in the dark of the night.  A friendship of trust, honesty, and acceptance came out of those many hours of service together.

It was so much fun to share my friend from St Louis with my friends in Southern Illinois.  It was neat to see the threads of relationships just in the women at this retreat.  Some were not members of our church just came with friends at our church.  There were women who had been long time childhood friends.  There were women who were friends because they were related, aunts and nieces, sister-in-laws, mothers and daughters, mother and daughter in-laws.  Friends for many years, friends for only a few years.  There were old friends and new friends.  I hope there were new friendships that began too.

Elaine made a comment to me at one point about how God knits our lives together and how if just one of those people are missing the quilt of our life can begin to unravel.  Missing out on one friendship changes the tapestry of our lives.

Friendships change us or they should anyway.  They should challenge us, they should stretch us, they should sharpen us.  They should make us better people by being around them.  If they are good friendships they should draw us to the Father.  Elaine is that kind of friend and I am thankful God knit  her in my life.

Proverbs 27:9 "The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense."

A BALL GLOVE, AN UMBRELLA, and A PARKING LOT

Brett and I are on vacation in Gatlinburg this week.  One of the things we like about Gatlinburg is the "Smokies" ball club.  They are the Cubs AA team, so when we vacation here we try to catch a game and check out the new and upcoming Cub talent.

This year we checked the schedule and there was a 11:30 day game, YAY a chance to enjoy a game and enjoy the sunshine.  We pulled up in the parking lot and surprise 50 big yellow school buses.  A ball park full of 4th graders.  Actually it was fun watching all of them.  It was fun to see all the little boys with their baseball gloves.  Why do boys bring their gloves to the ball park?  The hope and optimism of catching a foul ball.  There was a lot of hope at the ball park that day.

At one point when I returned to my seat there were three men sitting by Brett.  I could never determine if they were all friends or if they were three generations of men enjoying a ball game together.  But the one thing that did make me smile was the oldest one had a ball glove.  Hope and optimism not forgotten.

What makes us lose our hope?  Is it life in general?  Is it the numerous games where a ball never came our way?  Is it the words of the world, really your bringing your glove at your age?  Do we just forget our glove as we rush out the door?  Whatever it is our hope and optimism can diminish as we get older if we are not careful.

I am sure you have heard the story of the little country community who were in the middle of a summer drought.  The church called together a prayer service to pray for rain.  And one little old lady brought her umbrella.  One woman had hope in her prayers, or at least had hope in the one she prayed to.

If you attend church with us have you ever noticed where Brett parks on Sunday mornings?  That comes from one of those stories of expected hope.  When we lived in St Louis our deacons were praying for God to send visitors to our church.  One deacon Bob Porter told them if they were going to pray for visitors then they needed to leave the parking lot open for them.  Since then Brett has always parked as far away from the door as he could. Hope in what God will bring.

What about your prayers and hope?  Do you throw them up in the air and assume God will just grab the ones he wants or the ones he is willing to answer?  Do you send up your prayers and hope, trusting in the one who answers, or do you leave your glove and umbrella in the closet gathering dust?

Job 6:8 "Oh, that I might have my request, that God would grant what I hope for."