It's been awhile since I have blogged, and part of that is probably due to priorities. When my priorities are in order then my relationship with God is my number one priority. When that is in place then God is speaking, or maybe it's more when that is in place then I am taking time to listen.
So often I hear people say, I wish God would speak to me. I am beginning to realize He does speak. We just aren't listening. He doesn't force his way and He doesn't yell, so most times we just don't hear him.
Recently, my good friend Kim sent me an email saying pray for me I am stepping down from worship ministry. I can't continue to give God my left overs. Now, I am sad to say my very first reaction was to judge her decision. She's great at worship, she loves music and I just wasn't sure this was something she should be giving up. But, I quickly realized that she would not have made the decision lightly and it probably came with some pain and heart ache for her. I jokingly call her my minni me. So, I knew in making this decision she was probably struggling with questions like, who am I letting down? Am I letting God down? So, I started praying that God would honor her decision about her priorities, and that she would have a peace about it with no guilt.
It's a funny thing how God works. As I was praying for this sweet sisters priorities God began to say "what about yours?" I confidently responded mine are fine. Relationship with God, relationship with Brett, family and friends, ministry, and work. Perfect order. God said do your actions support that? Well if he's asking then of course they probably don't. So, I began to examine my last couple of weeks. I had started writing my own bible study lessons for Wednesday night and it was taking 2 or 3 nights a week. Time I wasn't spending with Brett. There had been a couple of mornings there were some work issues before I went in, and I had worked on those and passed up my morning time of bible reading. Time I wasn't spending with God. The two bottom things on my priority list were taking priority over my top two.
So, I sent an email to my friend Kim and first asked her to forgive me for judging her decision for even a minute. (A Celebrate Recovery step totally out of my comfort zone, inventory your actions and make amends). I told her God was using it all as I lesson for me, and I ask if I could use her name to blog. I also asked her if she would please start praying for my priorities? She sent back an email saying of course, and she said you are the one who told me you can't give God your left overs. Hate it when your own advice comes back to haunt you.
So, what does that mean for me? Does it mean I should give up my bible study, or my job? No, it just means I need to re examine where my time is going. How much time am I spending on facebook or watching TV? Those things are not even on my priority list. Those are the things I should be reducing when my schedule starts to fill up.
I came in contact this month with someone who was sitting by the bedside of a parent waiting for them to die, someone who was in a custody battle for a child, someone whose teenager had ran away, someone who was in the hospital waiting for test results, someone who was going before a judge to find out how many years they would be going to prison. If these were things I were facing would my priorities change?
We are given so many hours every day, and we are accountable to God for every minute. My prayer is that I make each of those minutes count.
Psalm 90:12 "So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom."
How are your priorities???
