Life in the Dash

I had a very strange Monday this week.  I got to be in the middle of life and death, joy and sorrow, a beginning and an end.

God has blessed me with TWO best friends and they were at extreme places in life this week.  I received a text from my friend Angie Monday morning saying her daughter in law was in labor and they were at the hospital.  They were waiting with wonderful joyous expectation for Emma Jo to arrive.

Not thirty minutes later I received a text from my friend Elaine saying her Father in law Guy Shaw was dying.  His health had been fading for a little while but the reality of what could possibly happen that day was sinking in.

As the day went on I text back and forth with both of these dear friends.  Sharing in the excitement and praying for Abby and Emma Jo.  Empathizing and praying for the pain of my other friend as her heart broke for members of her family who came and went that day to say their goodbyes.

Texts from Angie were filled with excitement, anticipation, and longing for what was to come. Texts from Elaine were filled with sadness, grief, and memories of a life well lived.

One thing they had in common though was hope.  Angie was looking at hope in the form of what lies ahead.  A whole new life just beginning.  A story that had just begun.  A life of days filled with Gigi kisses and hugs, watching this precious little girls story in God unfold over the years.

Elaine was looking at the hope of eternity.  Knowing that even in this death there was hope.  The hope in knowing this precious man who had been like a Father to her would probably that day meet his heavenly Father.  Knowing that with the hope found in Jesus one day again she would see him in eternity.

I received a text from Angie saying Emma Jo had entered the world at 1:58 PM.  I received a text from Elaine within 30 minutes of that saying Guy had passed away.

Life, death, beginnings, and endings they are all a part of life.  I am sure you have read the saying that on each tombstone there is a date marking the beginning of our life.  For Emma Jo that was June 5, 2017.  There is also a date marking the end of our life here on earth.  For Guy that was June 5, 2017.  But more important than those dates is the little dash in between.

How we spend that dash is what matters.  Did we love those around us well?  Did we teach our children to love God?  Did we tell others about Jesus?  Did we show others Jesus in our actions?  Did we take time for people?  Did we love those around us, even the ones who are hard to love? The important thing in that dash is the people in our lives.

I was fortunate enough to get to visit Angie that night to hold Emma Jo and to get to give Angie a hug of congratulations.  I was also fortunate enough to be able to see Elaine Thursday night and give her a hug and share in her sorrow for just a moment.

Your dash is a very little mark, how will you spend it?

John 13:34 "A new commandment I give to you, that you love another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another."

The Ultimate Time Traveler

God is the ultimate time traveler, did you ever think about that?  I have been praying about some heavy stuff.  I have been praying for a miracle of healing for my friend LaDonne.  I was praying she would walk out of SLU on her own accord.  That didn't happen. She has been transferred to Herrin for therapy, which in itself is an answer to prayer.  It just isn't the answer I was praying for.

I have been praying for years for a grandchild.  I am praying for Brittany and Will in their adoption, but that hasn't happened yet either.

Not as important, but I have been praying for our house to sell for nine months.  It is still on the market.

These are things that only God can orchestrate.  Things that really are out of my control.  That can be a hard one for me, out of my control.

Brett and I were talking about this last night.  Many times when Brett and I talk or I ask him a question, I tell him "Do not give me your Pastor answer."  Brett said, "Janet, I think you forget that God lives outside of time. Two days, ten days, two years, ten years, your time frame is different than Gods. God doesn't just see the future, He is in the future. God is already in the future with us laughing and playing with this grandbaby. Ok, so it was a great pastor's answer, and it really got me thinking.

That is comforting to me, that God is already waiting in the future for me.  That he does not just see or know the future he is in the future.  He is not just the I AM, He is also the I WAS, and I WILL BE.

He is already walking in the future with LaDonne.  He already knows if she is using her legs or her arms as they walk along.  He is already in the future with Brittany and Will and this precious baby. He is already at the first day of kindergarten.

I was thinking about all of that this morning as I sat down to read my Bible.  I am reading in Exodus, that fascinating part how the ark, the table, the tabernacle, the lamp stands, and the courtyard should all be constructed.

My flesh said, you are going to find no comfort, or feel good verse here, skip on over to Psalms and Proverbs.  But, I am doing this book study on Sunday mornings with my class called "Women of the Word."  It is about how we read the Bible wrong.  How we go to it looking for answers for ourselves. When we should be reading it to find out who God is.

So, I opened my Bible and stayed in Exodus. I began reading ALL the instructions to Moses, those exact instructions down to the 1/2 foot, the type of wood to use, the colors of fabric, the exact weight in gold for each piece. The more I read, the more God said, I am a God of details.

God has every detail of LaDonne's healing and recovery already planned out.  God has every detail of this adoption and baby already planned out.  God has every detail of the sale of our house already planned out.  He said to my heart, "be patient my daughter, and trust me."

Today I am glad my God is a God who transcends time, that he is already waiting in the future for me. I am thankful my God is a God of details.  I don't have to worry or stress about the future he has already taken care of every detail.

Exodus 26:1-2 "Make the tabernacle from ten curtains of finely woven linen.  Decorate the curtain with blue, purple, and scarlet thread and with skillfully embroidered cherubim.  These ten curtains must all be exactly the same size 42 feet long and 6 feet wide."

  
  

LIFE

Somewhere right now a birth Mom is giving birth to a baby she will not be bringing home.  For whatever reason, the hopes and dreams she may have one day had of being a Mom and raising a child didn't come true.  Not this time anyway, but she values life and is making a birth plan for this precious baby.

Somewhere right now a couple is in a labor and delivery room giving birth to a baby, a baby that may only live a few days or a few hours.  They have known that since the beginning of the second trimester but chose life because they know how precious life is.   They know that God has a plan for this little life no matter how short it is.  They know this baby of theirs will impact others and has a purpose.

Somewhere right now a couple is getting ready to go in the morning for IVF.  They have been trying and waiting for years for God to bless them with a child.  They chose IVF because they value life and are willing to go through shots and hormones, and financial debt just to be parents because they value life.

Somewhere right now a couple is preparing for a C-section in the morning.  They have been very quiet and somber about this birth.  This baby is a rainbow baby.  A child born after a miscarriage or loss of an infant.  They spent this pregnancy afraid to get excited, afraid of what might go wrong, afraid the joy of this baby might overshadow the precious child they didn't get to bring home.  But they tried again because they value life.

Somewhere right now parents are meeting their child for the first time.  This child may be in it's teens, it may be days old, or it may only be hours old.  They have been waiting years to meet him or her.  They have saved, and sacrificed, and raised money to bring this child home.  They have gone through the ups and downs of hope shattered, and faith tested.  They have waited and then waited some more to be able to bring this child home to their forever family.  They know the value of life.

Somewhere right now there is a woman thinking back on a decision that was made 30 years ago. Her family doesn't know, her friends don't know.  It was a time when she was young, scared, and alone. She felt like she had no one to go to, and no where to turn.  But a day doesn't go by that she doesn't wonder, what color eyes would she have had.  What would she have grown up to be. A day doesn't go by that she doesn't regret the decision that she made.  If she could go back she would do it different because she values life.      

Sometimes in the mundane of the every day we take the value of life for granted.  We forget the high price God paid for life.  When we do we devalue the cross.  God values each and every life enough, that he send His son to die on the cross, so that we could have life and have it abundantly.   We need to live each day in the abundance.

John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.  I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."

It''s Scary in the Dark!

Since the weather is warm Brett and I are trying to get back in the habit of walking before work. Right now that means it is still dark when we start out. It is so hard to crawl out of bed to walk when it is dark.  We have knuckle lights but usually only turn them on if a car is coming toward us. Brett doesn't like the light bouncing around while we are walking, so we walk in the dark.

This sometimes causes me stress.  Which makes no sense, because the place we walk is the exact spot we walk when it is light.  I know the way.  I know the surroundings.  I know there are not things waiting to jump out and get me.  When it is light out, I feel no anxiety.  What makes the difference.

In the light, I can see everything around me.  In the light, a stick in the road doesn't look like a snake. In the light, the movement of the branches doesn't become something out to get me.  In the light, the hole in the road doesn't jump out and trip me,(OK sometimes it does). In the light, cars can see me better.  In the light, you can see when sudden noises are just a squirrel or bird skittering by.

THE LIGHT TAKES AWAY MY FEARS.

There is such a lesson here.  When I am walking in the light of Jesus, I should not feel anxiety either.

When I am walking in His light, I know the difference between truth and a lie.  In His light my selfishness becomes clear.  In His light, my pride stands out.  In His light, my sins are not lurking in the shadows to trip me up.  I can face them head on and deal with them.  In His light I know he loves me.  In His light, I am enough.  In His light, HE is enough.

Walking in the dark makes us anxious and afraid.  Walking in the light calms our fears.

John 12:35-36 "Jesus replied, "my light will shine for you just a little longer. Walk in the light while you can so the darkness will not overtake you.  Those who walk in the darkness cannot see where they are going.  Put your trust in the light while there is still time; then you will become children of the light."
         

Life can change in a minute.

Life can change in a matter of minutes.  We all know that.  We just never really expect it to.  It just seems more like a phrase we randomly throw out. Great words of advice we give.  "Make the most of your life because it can change on a dime."

I spent the past weekend at a retreat with some ladies from my church.  I got to hear three amazing women speak about Grace, Hope, and Love.  A part of me will be forever changed by this retreat.  Some things will change by the words spoken by these three ladies, but mostly God talked to me through circumstances of the weekend.  

Our first speaker on Friday night was LaDonne.  She gave an excellent session on Grace.  She is an avid knitter and tied her whole session around knitting.  She talked first about how God knits all of us together in our mother's wombs.  She then talked about how God knits all the things that happen in our lives to form our stories. Then she talked about how our lives and stories are then knit together with others around us to create our life.

Then less than two hours later LaDonne was in an ambulance headed to the hospital unable to feel her feet or legs.  Life CAN change in a matter of minutes.

LaDonne is still in the hospital, they are running numerous tests, she has been through one surgery already, and as of now she still has no feeling from the chest down.  

I am praying for a miracle, but more than praying I am BELIEVING in a miracle.  LaDonne has some other unique and rare medical conditions, and I know God has already performed miracles in her life. In fact, it is probably a miracle that she is even still here. I usually pray KNOWING God CAN do a miracle, but allowing him the out of "if it is your will."  Actually that out really isn't for God, he doesn't need an out he is God.  The out is really for me.  So that if I pray for a miracle, and the specific miracle isn't answered my way, then I am not hurt or disappointed in God.  Then I am not questioning why isn't my faith enough to move mountains?

I listened to LaDonne on Friday night talk about another unrelated health issue they had just discovered, and she said, "but, even if he doesn't,(talking about healing), I am still excited to see what this next chapter holds.  I know this woman has the faith and strength and trust in God to love and serve her God no matter the outcome.  I also know whether LaDonne walks out of that hospital or is wheeled out God is still going to use her.

I am praying for that miracle of complete recovery.  But if it were not to happen, LaDonne would still reflect who God is.  We would see it in her life, and her actions, her love for those around her.  God would still use her, God would not have forgotten her.  Some things about her life might change and be different but her purpose, to reflect God would still be the same.  

Jeremiah 32:27 "I am the Lord, the God of all mankind.  Is anything too hard for me?"

Perspective

The weather is warming up again, so Brett and I are able to walk outside.  Thank goodness, because the treadmill drives me insane after awhile.  Last Saturday morning we were out walking on some of the back roads around our house.  I looked over and said, "look at that pretty field of purple flowers." Brett's response was, "I think those are weeds."

We walked a little further down the road, and Brett said, "did you see that burrito?"  I was looking all over for a burrito and could not find one anywhere.  I said, "where did you see a burrito?"  He said, "it was smashed in that bag on the road."  I saw what looked like a trash sack.

We had not walked more than a quarter of a mile when Brett said, "look they have their garden spot tilled up already."  Once again I was looking all over for a garden area.  I said, "do you mean that field that is plowed up?"

I just started laughing out loud.  Because in that one mile of our walk, there were three specific examples of how we see things differently.  It is all about our perspective.  A perspective shaped by where we are, where we have been, and where we are going?

It is the same with our individual images of who or what we think God is.  God's image never changes.  He doesn't change.  His character doesn't change. He doesn't change his mind on a whim. But where we are, where we have been, and where we are going in our lives can change our perspective of how we see God.

Brett saw weeds, a burrito, and a garden spot.  I saw flowers, a bag, and a field.  Yet, we were both looking at the same things.  It was our perspective that made us see things different.  God is always the same, it is our view of Him that makes us see him different.

We need to make sure we are reading our Bible so that our perspective of God matches up with His true image.

Isaiah 55:8  "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord."

Terrible Two Tantrums

The sweet little girl in this picture is my great-niece Harper Grace. Is she not the cutest?  They live in Oklahoma, so we don't get to see them very often.  But, I am pretty sure her Mom must have pinched her to get this picture because every time I saw her, she has been all smiles and giggles.

The more I look at this picture it just makes me laugh. This picture has a ton of blog ideas that I could write about.  Starting with the dog at the back door that doesn't seem phased at all by the outburst.
Or I could write about the spotlessly clean kitchen of a Mom of two toddlers.  But let's face it the story in this picture is the look on this little girls face.

As I look at Harper's face in this picture, I wonder if this is what I look like to God sometimes.  She is obviously upset.  The fact that her Momma took the time to take a picture tells me she isn't hurt, she is just mad.  Based on her age I assume that she is mad because she didn't get her way about something.

I have a feeling sometimes when I don't get my way I look like this to God.  I may pout, stomp my feet, hold my breath, and cry real tears.  When the yes I am waiting on turns out to be a no.  When my house doesn't sell.  When I don't get the job, I applied for.   When what I had planned turns out not to be God's plan. When I thought I was moving to Hawaii and that falls through. When I don't get my way how do I react?

For Harper Grace, this little tantrum is expected because she is almost two.  And this picture her Mom had the foresight to take will be cute to show everyone someday when she turns 18 or 21. But if she is still throwing tantrums like that at 18 or 21 that really isn't so cute.

It is the same for me.  The more mature I become in my faith, those tantrums are no longer cute.  As my faith grows, I should be able to control my emotions. When things don't go the way I had planned, I should trust that God has a better plan.  When I can not see the end or the outcome, God's past faithfulness should carry me through the blind spots.

I checked with Harpers Momma, she said she thought Harper was crying because she made her stop climbing into a chair.  Why did her Momma stop her?  Because she's super mean, right?  No, because she has a great Mom who didn't want her to fall and get hurt.  Is is possible God doesn't always give me my way because he is protecting me?  We have a good, good Father who loves and protects us.

“Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”  — Matthew 7:9-11     

Praying for your Husband

Have you ever had those times in your marriage when your husband just drives you crazy?  You know, those little quirks that you loved about him when you were dating, but now they are like finger nails on a chalkboard, or teeth scraping a fork?  REALLY? I find it hard to believe that I might be the only one.

Or maybe you are in one of those ruts in your marriage where you are in the compare trap?  My husband doesn't send me flowers like Lisa's husband, or mine doesn't open doors for me like Sally's husband does.  You begin to only see the things he doesn't do instead of the things he does.

I will be honest, I have been in both of these places at one time or another in my marriage and maybe not too long ago.  It's in these spots that I might begin to pray "God please change this in Brett, please make him more like Bob, please make him stop doing that one thing that drives my Mom crazy.  God please change him."   That is a dangerous and slick slope to be on.

I have the secret for you.  I read it years ago; tried it and it really works.  When I am in those places, I have learned, instead of praying "God please change Brett."   I have learned to pray, "God, let me see Brett through Your eyes."

Do you know what happens when I do?  Brett doesn't change, but my attitude toward Brett does. Those little quirks that are getting on my nerves begin to fade away.  Instead of noticing the things he doesn't do.  I begin to notice the things he does.  Like picking up a McDonalds tea for me on Sunday mornings, or unloading the dishwasher every single morning.  Helping with the laundry, running the sweeper, making me laugh. Things like asking for my opinion and not just forging ahead, or overlooking when I am tired and grumpy.

I also begin to see his strengths.  Those qualities that God has formed in him.  Those things I love about him.  I see his integrity.  I see how he takes time for people.  I see his servant's heart.  Those things that are important to God also become important to me.

So the next time your husband is driving you crazy, or you catch yourself starting to compare, STOP, pray, and ask God to let you see your husband through His eyes.  Your husband won't change but your attitude will.

I have to believe that a praying wife is a thing of beauty to her husband.

1 Peter 3:3 "Don't be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes.  You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so  precious to God.  This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful.  They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands."
 
      

A Momma's praying heart

"Mama's prayers were always with me in the battlefields of life.  She prayed for me and said amen in the name of Jesus Christ."  Those are words from an old Merle Haggard song, "Mama's Prayers".

THERE IS NOT A TOOL WE HAVE AS MOM'S MORE POWERFUL THAN PRAYER.

I have prayed for my children in so many stages of their lives, and in each stage my prayers were different. When they were little I prayed that God would protect them.  I was a young mom who didn't know anything.   Those simple prayers may very well have kept them alive.

I began praying more earnestly for them when they started school.  My walk with God was closer then, so I was praying more.  I prayed they would do well at school.  I prayed when they had a test.  I prayed they would choose good friends and make good choices.

As they got into Jr High I began to pray for their future spouses.  I prayed that God was protecting them.  That they were being raised in Christian homes. I continued to pray for the protection of my children, I prayed they did well in school.  I prayed they were honoring God in their actions.

When my children started high school and started driving and started having more freedoms, I started praying if they were doing anything wrong, anything they shouldn't be doing that they would get caught.  If they were going to start down a wrong path I wanted that stopped before it began.

When they married I prayed for their marriages, and relationships.  I prayed Chris would be a good leader of his home.  I prayed Brittany would be a wife who respected her husband.

There came a point somewhere in their adult lives that I began to pray about their faith.  That it would be strong, and that it would be their own.  That it would be real.  The holy spirit began to say to me would you add to that prayer "no matter what it takes"?  Would you be brave enough to say "make my children's faith real to them no matter what it takes?"

Let me tell you, as a Mom that is a scary request.  That is a scary prayer to pray.  But I did.  I have watched my kids both go through difficult times.  Times that tried their faith and made them cling to Him.  I don't think God used those prayers of mine to cause difficult situations in my kids lives.  I believe those prayers were to increase my faith in God.  For me to trust in God's plan for my kids and not my own.

As a Mom one of the greatest things you can do is pray for your kids and then trust God's plan for their life.

1 Samuel 1:27 says, "For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him."

3 John 1:4 "I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth."

Moms and Dads there is no greater gift you can give your children than your prayers.

Jesus Waited for Two Days

I have been reading the story of the death and raising of Lazarus for a few days now.  There is so much in this chapter.  As I keep reading it there are two verses that just keep sticking out to me.

John 11:5-6, "So although Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, he stayed where he was for the next two days."

The verses before that tell me that it happened that way for the glory of God.  So that the Son of God would receive the glory from this.

When I am waiting for a prayer to be answered, or waiting to see a change in some one's recovery, or in a situation where I just don't feel like God is moving, I need to paraphrase that verse.  "Even though God loved Janet (or fill in the blank), he stayed where he was for the next two days, or weeks, or months, or years."

Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus.  We know that.  We know he stayed with them when he was in the area. They were near and dear to his heart.  There was a special bond there.  The human side of Jesus might have wanted to be with his friends during this hard time.  But, he knew that God would receive more glory if he waited.  If he stayed where he was.  It was a bigger miracle to raise Lazarus from the dead, instead of  healing him from a sickness.

Jesus was willing to wait those two days.  He knew his friends would suffer a little, but he knew the ultimate end to the story.  He knew the outcome.  He knew they would be OK and that their faith might increase in the waiting.

So often we think only of ourselves.  We think about what we might be missing, or what we might be going through.  Or why doesn't God just fix this.  We think in the moment.  God sees two days or two steps ahead of what we can see in our selfishness.

If you are in the middle of a struggle, or if you are wondering what is taking God so long.  If your grief is to deep or your pain is pulling you under.  Just hold on.  Maybe God is using your current situation to glorify Him.  Maybe its not always about us.  Maybe, just maybe, it is so the Son of God will receive the glory.

I believe even though Jesus wasn't physically with Martha, Mary and Lazarus during those two days. They were in his thoughts and prayers.  They were on his heart.  He knew and felt their pain.  He is with us in those times too.  He may wait two days but we are never alone in our hurt.

Look at the crowd that had gathered in those two days. Look at the people who saw a miracle that day. God not only showed Martha, Mary, and Lazarus a miracle, many people who had come to comfort them watched and believed.

Our stories, our struggles, our hurts they are not really about us.  They are about God working in us and through us for his glory.

So, although Jesus loves Janet, sometimes he may stay where he is for two days, and that is OK.

Little ship/ Big ocean

Brett and I recently went on our first cruise.  An amazing, wonderful, fun trip.

When we pulled up to the port, and got out of the car I was amazed by the size of the ship.  I knew it was going to be big, but I was just not prepared for how big.  I remember thinking how is it possible for this huge, heavy boat full of people to stay afloat?

We got on and again I was astonished at the size, at how many floors there were.  How long the hallway to get to our room was.  It seemed we walked forever before we found our room number.

It's funny how fast perspective can change.  After two days of being out to sea and not seeing ANY land for two days I began to think about how small that boat really was in all that water.  Isaiah 40:12 says, "God measured the waters in the hollow of His hand."

Two days without seeing any land is a lot of measuring, thats a lot of water!

Brett and I went out on the deck one evening before going to dinner.  As I looked out over all that beautiful blue water, I thought about how small that boat really was.  As I thought about how small that boat was, I began to think about how small I was on that boat.  In the whole picture of things I was like a mite of dust on a piece of sand.  Brings into perspective how insignificant we really are.

But at that very instance the holy spirit spoke to my heart and said but isn't it amazing that as small  and insignificant as you are the God of the universe, the creator, wants communion with you.  God wants you to communicate with Him.  He doesn't NEED me to communicate with Him, he WANTS me to.

God wants to HEAR my prayers.  In the same way we as parents like to hear the sound of our children's voices and laughter.  God likes to hear mine, he likes to hear me pray out loud.  It's not a ritual, or something to cross off my to do list.  It's an honor and a privilege.  One I should not take for granted.  The God of the universe hears my prayers.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

When My Husband Prays for me

My two favorite texts to receive from my husband are "I love you" and "P".

The first one lets me know that he is thinking about me and that makes me smile.  But the second one "P", which is our code for praying for you, means even more.  It means that he went to the throne for me.  It means not just that he is thinking about me, but that he went one step further and is interceding for me.

There isn't a whole lot of things that will make a wife feel more protected or loved than to know that her husband spends time praying for her.  It makes you feel protected in two ways.  The first is obvious, your husband is asking God to watch over you, or to help you through a struggle, or just that you have a great day.

The second thing it does, it gives you confidence in your husbands relationship with God.  If he is praying for you then he is in communication with the Father.  If Brett is leading, and I am following him, I want to know he is seeking instruction from the right source. It gives me confidence in his leadership if I know he is praying and I see him reading his bible.

Another thing that melts my heart is when Brett prays out loud with me.  There are Sundays when Brett will ask me to go to the alter to pray with him.  There is something so humbling about hearing your husband pray and ask God to make him a better husband.  To ask for forgiveness in areas where he feels he has failed. To hear him thank the father for you.

Men if you want to melt your wife's heart, let her hear your earnest and heart felt prayers.  It will change your relationship.  It may also change your relationship with God.

1 Peter 3:7 "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding  way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."

Grace and Mercy

This week someone I knew was murdered.  I can not get her out of my mind.  And I can't get out of my mind how someone who was so sweet, loving, and caring toward everyone she met ends up  in a situation where her life comes to a tragic end.

I have been trying to reconcile that into Robbey's sermon from last Sunday.  His sermon was that our lives are not based on luck, they are not based on self determination.  They are based on the fact that God reigns in them.

For me there is something so totally humbling about that.  I come into contact with people whose lives just seem to suck.  I am sure you do too.  They just have one bad thing after another that happens to them. It is as if they are on a snowball of bad luck and it just picks up speed downhill.  Now some of it is because of choices or even past choices that are catching up with them.  But that isn't always the case.

So I have thought a lot about that this week.  God has given me an amazing life.  In fact, at times I am almost embarrassed by how good it is.  I have done nothing to deserve this life.  It is simply God's grace on my life.

I read something this week that said Grace is when God gives me good things I don't deserve.  Mercy is when God holds back what I truly do deserve.  And the two of these together are blessings.

There is a sense of gratitude for Jesus dying on the cross that I can never repay.  That I just have to accept as God's love.

But there is a sense of gratitude for his grace and mercy on my life that I feel the need to repay.  I didn't do anything to deserve God's blessings in my life, but I can certainly have a grateful heart that pays it forward.  God help me live a life that shows that same grace and mercy to others around me.

Ephesians 4:7 "But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned (divide, allocate, assign) ."

"They Got It All"

"They got it All."  Those must be the most precious words a cancer patient hears.  There are so many people I know right now who are going through the terrible, scary, anxious battle of cancer.

As I was reading my bible this morning, I received a text from one of those people saying "Had the CT scan yesterday, so hopefully will know soon if they got it all."  I said a quick prayer that this person receives those precious words soon.

As I started reading again this was the verse I read.  Colossians 2:11 "When you came to Christ, you were circumcised, but not by a physical procedure.  Christ performed a spiritual circumcision-the cutting away of your sinful nature."

I immediately thought of the procedure when they are removing cancer.  They go in and cut away the cancer cells, and then they biopsy to see if they are at clean cells.  If not they go in and remove more and biopsy again until they reach clear, cancer free cells.

When God saved me he removed all my sins past, present, and future.  With one cut, Christ's death on the cross, God "Got It All".  Those words should be just as precious to me as they are a cancer patient.

Those words to a cancer patient are really life giving.  Life can go on for them.  The fear of death so close, is suddenly lifted.  I thankfully have never had to personally receive those words, but I can only imagine the freedom and relieve you must feel.

I have received these words from my heavenly Father though. Your sins are forgiven.  That assurance that my sins are no more.  The fear of death lifted, but more importantly the freedom that comes in knowing Christ died for all my sins past, present and future.  The freedom in knowing that I can live in freedom and relieve.  Jesus did that for me.

If you have never heard those words "I paid it All",  private message me for more details.  Or find a good church in your area where the gospel is preached.  If you are in my area join me Sunday morning 10:15 AM Redemption Church.  "Jesus paid it all, He got it all."

Waiting

I am always making the comment to Brett "I spend half my life waiting on you".  Of course I don't, but think about how much time we do spend waiting.

We wait on some things that are small.  Like waiting for a stop light to change, or waiting on a train to pass, or waiting our turn in line.

I spent some time last week with my Uncle at Barnes hospital, he had a couple of appointments there.
Even though they were on time with their appointments we had wait time in between.

We wait for fun things.  I am waiting for vacation to get here in two weeks.  My friends Tyler and Abby are half way through waiting for baby Emma to arrive.  We wait for Christmas and birthdays.

Some things are not so fun to wait for, my niece Kyleigh recently spent 7 hours in an airport, with two toddlers, waiting for a delayed flight that was finally cancelled.  She is super Momma.

We wait for difficult things.  I know several people recently who have waited for test results to determine cancer or not.  Have you ever sat by the bedside of someone you love waiting for them to take their last breathe?  Those are the hard waits.

Right now in my life I am waiting for my house to sell, I am waiting for a grandbaby, waits that are out of my control.  Situations where I can do nothing to hurry up the wait process.

But we are in good company when it comes to waiting.  Look how long Abraham and Sara waited for a child, look how long Joseph waited in prison, Noah waited on the rain and spent the time building the ark, Daniel waited over night in the lion's den, David waited to be king, Simeon waited to see the savior.  Waiting isn't something new.

I know in my own life God uses waiting to refine me.  I am trying to be thankful for that refining.  Like when I have to wait for a train and I am running late.  I try to remember to thank God for whatever he may be protecting me from.  Because haven't we all had those times when something holds us up only to find out there was a accident just ahead of us.  Without that wait we might have been in it.

When I have to wait in line I am tying to practicing giving grace to that poor soul working.  It usually isn't their fault.  I have the choice to make their day worse or maybe just a little better with an encouraging word and a smile.

And those big life waiting moments.  I am trying to remember that God's timing is so much better than mine, that His plans and purposes so outweigh mine.  I have to believe God knew waiting was going to be a refining tool because he gives us so many verses in the bible that speak about waiting. Here is just a sampling.
Hosea 12:6 "wait for your God continually"
Psalm 27:14 "wait for the Lord"
Psalm 37:7 "wait patiently for him"
Psalm 25:5 "for you I wait all day"
Galatians 5:5 "waiting for the hope of righteousness"
Micah 7:7 "I will wait for the God of my salvation"

God knew we would be waiting but he left us instructions on how to overcome the wait.

Motherhood - It's a tough job.

I woke up this morning with a head cold, so instead of getting up with Brett to exercise I stayed in bed for another hour of sleep.  Rarely do I remember dreams but when I woke from that hour of sleep I remembered my dream.  It was very real and very strange.

Brittany and Chris were little kids again.  I came home from somewhere and the house was a wreck. In the dream I remember trying to get them to help clean up everything.  Instead of cleaning up they were all excited to show my everything they had created in the chaos. I kept my cool for a little while but then my patience wore thin.  I reverted back to my old stand by of yelling to get them to do something.

As soon as I started to yell I looked up and all the women who I viewed as perfect moms were lined up along the wall just staring at me. I felt like they were judging me.  When I woke up I felt so bad but then I realized it was a dream.

One thing I know here in the second half of life, is that we all have "failed" mommy days.  Or what we deem as failed.  I also know that if you raise your children according to God's word, He gives you just enough good days to balance out those days we think are failures.  Proverbs 22:6 says "Train up a child in the way he should go.  And when he is old he will not depart from it."  

I also know those other moms better on this side too, and see them in a different light.  I know they were struggling just as much as I was.  Instead of pretending I had it all together I should have reached out on those bad days.  I should have called one of them and said I feel like a failure.  They would have encouraged me not judged me.  They would probably have appreciated the honesty.

Young moms build a support system.  Reach out to those other moms on bad days.  And encourage each other when you see someone doing something well.  Moms of kids who are grown, say a positive word when you see a young Mom getting it right.  And give her a word of encouragement when you see one having a rough day.  

Motherhood.  It should be a bond that draws us together not one that pulls us apart.  This season too shall pass.  All too soon it will pass.  I loved that season but wouldn't want to go back and do it over again.  I am excited for the next season, grandmahood.  I hope in that season I have more patience, take more time to listen, and worry less about the clutter.  

Brittany and Chris thank you for not judging my "failed" days, not needing therapy from all the yelling, and allowing me grace in my young mom days.  



              

Chocolate for my Soul

I love chocolate.  Chocolate with almonds, chocolate with Carmel, chocolate with peanut butter, chocolate with mint, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate covered strawberries, milk chocolate, white chocolate, pretty much any kind of chocolate except dark chocolate or chocolate with coconut.  With the exception of those two it doesn't take much to tempt me to take a bite.  If its at the house I need to keep it in the cabinet or hidden somewhere so it is out of sight and out of mind.

My prayer for the New Year has been for God to put a deep desire in my heart for his word.  An unquenchable desire to read his word, to know his word, and to understand it.

Why do I have to pray that?????  I don't pray for the desire for chocolate, in fact sometimes when I am dieting I pray he takes that desire away.  So, what is wrong with my heart that I have to pray for the desire to crave God's word.  That I have to pray for the desire to read his love letter to me.

 Brett was in the Navy the whole time we were dating.  We spent most of our dating time apart.  That was years ago before cell phones, before texting, before face time.  There were phones, but they were on the wall and a call was long distance and cost money.   Therefore, 90% our communication was through letters.  Trust me when a letter came in the mail it didn't sit on my dresser unopened until I got around to reading it.  I ripped it open and couldn't wait to read what he wrote.  Nothing touches your  heart like a love letter, so why am I not as anxious to open God's word and see what he wrote to me????

I am not totally cold and hard hearted, when I sit down and read my bible my spirit is renewed, it is like a sweet  piece of chocolate to my soul, it is like a reading a love letter.  But "things" get in the way of doing that. Things like TV, social media, even good study books can get in my way.

When I walk by and see my bible sitting on the coffee table, the desire to pick it up and read it isn't always there. In fact if I am totally honest sometimes I don't even realize it is there. But, when I walk by a dove chocolate sitting on the counter I can't pass it up.

So my continued prayer this year is that he will place an unquenchable thirst in my soul for his word. I hate that I need to pray that but I also know that if we ask he is faithful to answer.

Maybe you are reading this and think what a slug, how can she not desire God's word?  If that is the case pray that he answers my prayer.  But maybe you are reading this and can relate.  If that is the case join me this year in praying for a deeper desire and craving for his word in your life.

Matthew 21:22 "And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive."

I believe we can all use a little more chocolate for our souls and bonus its calorie free.

Jeremy and Lyndsey Pelton

I recently had the privilege of attending the last Shaw daughter wedding. Lyndsey and Jeremy Pelton your wedding was beautiful and eloquent. It was a true expression of your personalities. I watched the servant heart in both of you, as you spent a large part of your reception mingling with your guests as all your friends danced the night away. What a great example of the type of ministry leaders you will be together.

I observed something else at this wedding. A Mothers love. The grooms younger brother had died in a car accident just weeks before the wedding. In honor of his memory they left his spot as groomsmen empty. They also left an empty place setting at the head table. I can not imagine this Moms emotions on that day. The ecstatic joy of sharing in one sons wedding day, while at the same time carrying the most heartbreaking grief imaginable. I commend this moms choice to chose joy.

As I thought about that my mind was immediately reminded of adoption. Because lately everything    in my life finds a connection to adoption. On the day that Brittany and Will bring home their precious baby, it will be a day filled with greatest joy for them. Yet they are already praying for the precious birth Mom. They are aware that their greatest joy comes at her greatest heartache.

But aren't these both a perfect example of redemption?  The same redemption that God offers us. Our greatest joy, salvation, comes at God's greatest grief the crucifixion of his son Jesus.  All three of these are examples of selfless love. A Mom setting aside her own grief to celebrate with her son.  A birth mom choosing life for her child. And God willing to sacrifice his Son for a sinful world.

What if we all offered up selfless acts of love. Think about how even our small actions could change this world.

Luke 6:35 But, love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.

Jeremy and Lyndsey I wish you the best and can not wait to see how God uses you as Mr and Mrs Pelton.  Congratulations!!