The Kiss

Kiss me like you mean it

Hold me like you will never let go, and 

Let me see love reflected in your eyes

I got to thinking about what the three main things are that I want from Brett.  And these are the first three that came to mind.   To do one blog on all three would be too long.  It is my goal to keep these posts short, so they are easy to read in a few  minutes.   So I am going to break this into three different posts and will blog about the other two at a later time.     

"Kiss me like you mean it."  Now, let me start out by saying that Brett is a GREAT kisser.  He always has been.  With that being said, we have been married for 32 years and together two years before that.  So that is a lot of years to keep kissing the same set of lips and not take them for granted.    

Recently, my sister in law Tory and I got to sneak away in the middle of the week and catch a cubs day game.  The sun was out in the bleachers, the sky was a perfect blue, Reed Johnson was right on the field in front of us  and the cubs won.  It was a perfect day.  After the game it took us awhile to find our way back to our vehicle. We were lost. Thank you nice young man on the street corner, with your phone app, for pointing two middle age ladies in the right direction. We were at least smart enough to remember the name of the bar and grill that we parked behind.  Anyway, when we got to the parking lot there was only our car and one other left.   Standing beside the other vehicle were a man and woman locked in a deep passionate kiss.  They were kissing from the time we walked up, to the time Tory backed out the car, and I got in, and still while we pulled away.  I got in the car and said "I want to be kissed like that."

So what was I really saying?  I realize that those two possible met in that bar that afternoon, and the guy was trying to make a good impression with that kiss.  Maybe they both were.  Was it the passion in the kiss I was envying?  Maybe, I am pretty sure they were going to have to send a search and rescue team to locate his tongue in her throat. Was it the length of the kiss?  Could be, I am guessing she had a neck ache by the time it was finished, he was a pretty tall guy.   

What  really  drew my attention to that kiss, was that they were so engrossed in each other.  They didn't know there was anyone else around. The building behind them could have blown up and I don't think they would have known.  The only thing they were focused on was each other.  It was a kiss that said I am totally committed to only this right now.  This is the only thing that has my attention.


As I thought more about that, I began to realize, that I am probably the culprit not Brett.  How often does it happen that Brett comes to kiss me, and I am in the kitchen doing something.  What is it about men and the kitchen?  I am more worried about what might be heating on the stove than what could be heating up between us.  Or he comes to give me a good bye kiss in the morning, as I am getting ready for work.  How many times have I kissed him holding a blow dryer in my hand or a curling iron in my hair?  Or how many times have I kissed him with one eye on something else, the clock, the dogs, the TV?


Colossians 3:23 says, "whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men."  Now I am sure a kiss is not what Paul was referring to in this verse.  (Though it does come out of the same passage as wives submit to your husbands, and husbands love your wives.)  But it is talking about doing the best you can, putting everything you have into what you are doing.  Being focused on that one thing, and putting your whole heart into it.  Why not apply that to a kiss?

If I want to be "kissed like that" I need to be anxiously anticipating and ready.  Or better yet, I need to surprise Brett and be the initiator.  So, if you are near that important person in your life, take a minute, and kiss them like you mean it.

Thanks for reading.


       

    

Worth Waiting For

My son Chris just got engaged yesterday.  Welcome to the family K.C.  We love you.  We are so thankful God has blessed Chris with a godly future wife, and can not wait to see what He has in store for them.

Due to some odd circumstances, a lot of people knew they were getting married, and a lot of the wedding was planned before the actual proposal.  However, Chris was determined to have the element of surprise even though K.C. knew it was coming.

He came up with a great plan.  He worked out all the details and had three important elements to the plan.  One - to totally surprise her.  Two - to be able to share the moment with some of the most important ladies in her life, family and friends.  Three - to be able to capture the moment on video without her being suspicious of the video camera.  Everything was set.

K.C. didn't think the ring was in yet so she wouldn't be expecting it.  Monthly ladies Bunco game night all set, a mascot character so she doesn't know its Chris.  Recording the mascot for publicity so no one is suspicious of the video camera.  Sounds like a perfect plan, right?  Wrong, who would know K.C. would decline Bunco because of finals week?

So, Chris had to regroup.  Come up with a different plan?  He wasn't wanting to wait any longer.  You have to know my son, when he gets a plan in his head he gets tunnel vision..  He tried to come up with another idea, but couldn't come up with something that had all the elements he was looking for.  My great "Mom" advice, just push Bunco back a week.  In the grand scheme of a life long marriage, what was it going to hurt to wait one more week?   He didn't like that idea at first.  I said Chris, isn't it worth it to place your tunnel vision on the back burner so K.C. has this great story to tell for the rest of her life?  After unsuccessfully coming up with anything that matched his original idea, he arranged to push Bunco back a week. Shayna was so smooth at working that out without it looking suspicious.

Everything was set and rearranged ready to go.  Chris actually called me, and said, this is not me saying you are right, but it all turned out best to wait.  I love the second half of life, when your kids develop respect for you.

So, Tuesday Bunco night finally gets here and turns out perfect.  After some serious convincing on Sarah's part K.C. agrees to come.  We all eat and then begin playing.  Sherlock the mascot comes in to play a couple rounds for "publicity".  He starts out at the table with his sister, and mother in law to be.  He wins and gets to move to K.C.'s table, he sits down and rolls a couple hands of dice.  Then Shayna adds the ring to his "paw" with the dice and he rolls it out on the table.  K.C.'s face is priceless.  Chris removes the mascot's head, gets down on one knee and gives a great speech.  As a Mom I couldn't be more proud.

Isaiah 30:18 says, therefore, the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore He exalts himself to show mercy on you.  For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for Him.

How many times do we have tunnel vision and miss what God has in store?  We get so wrapped in our own agenda and plans that we don't stop and consult God.  We don't take God's timing into account.  How many times have I missed God saying, in the grand scheme of life Janet, what does waiting one day, one week, one month, even one year matter?  How many times have I rushed ahead, instead of waiting, and missed having a great story to tell?

Chris, thanks for being patient and waiting so we could all share in this "happy day".  I am pretty sure, by her reaction, that K.C. would say it was worth waiting for.
Thanks for reading.

Pulling Weeds

This spring and last spring every day on my way to and from work, I would see this older woman (yes even at 50 there are older woman) out in her yard.  She would be sitting on this little plastic step stool pulling weeds.  Last spring, I remember thinking how dedicated and vigilant she was.  This spring, as I began to see her out again, I was just amazed that she was out there every  morning before work, and each afternoon on my way home.  This spring however, God began to speak to me and use this woman.  I had just went round and round with God over a series Andy Stanley did on comparing.  About finding your worth in looking to the left and right of you.  As I watched her each day I noticed that the neighbor's yard was full of dandelions.  I remember thinking how fruitless, those are all going to blow right over in her yard.

God began to reiterate the whole looking to the left and right again.  He said Janet she is not worried about the neighbors weeds.  She is only concentrating on the weeds in her yard.  He began to say that is what you need to do, not worry about the sins in your neighbors heart.  Work on weeding your own yard.  Weeding your own heart.   She isn't just mowing over those weeds and getting rid of them temporarily, she is diligently pulling them up individually by the roots to get rid of them forever.  How often had I just mowed over my sins?  Getting rid of them temporarily, just to have them pop up again?  Never digging  to the root of what caused them, or where thy came from.

So as I drove by each day I began to think about areas in my life I needed to work on.  Problem areas that kept popping up like weeds.  And I continued to think about weeding my heart only, not my neighbors.

Then in that still small voice, that I don't audibly hear, but that I hear in my heart.  God began to say, you need to stop and tell this woman the impact she had on you.  God she will think I am some kind of freak.  Weed one - pride.  God I just can't do that, I won't do that.  Weed two - totally disobeying God.  So I didn't do it, and then I stopped seeing her out.  And I really began to regret not acting on the lead of the holy spirit.

Then one evening on my way home from working out.  I passed her house, and there was a woman sitting outside on the step, but I wasn't even sure it was her.  I would like to say, I immediately pulled in the drive, but I didn't.  I drove by four times before pulling in.

I pulled in her drive, got out of the car and asked, "are you the woman who sits out in the yard pulling weeds?"  She said "yes."  I said  "You are going to think I am crazy, but I have been driving by and watching you, and God used you to speak to me.  He told me I need to be diligent and work on the areas of my heart that need weeded."  The woman got big tears in her eyes.  She said "you don't know what that means to me.  Do you know what I am doing out there as I pull weeds?  I am praying."

I introduced myself and we talked for awhile.  She told me how her husband had been sick and died a few years ago.  She said can I tell you a story about how amazing my God is?  She began to tell me about how before her husband had died, they were worried about how they were going to pay their taxes.  They decided to have a yard sale, so she was outside cleaning up some of her husband's tools and praying.  She said a man she knew pulled up and said, I know you have been praying and have financial needs.  He said I am here to meet those. He handed her an envelope with $907.00 dollars in it.  She said a few weeks later when they got their taxes the bill was $907.00.  She said that is how amazing my God is, the amount was to the tee so there would be no doubt who provided that need.

We talked a few more minutes about the amazing God we share.  I thanked her and told her I would be watching for her when I passed by.  She said I will be watching for you and pray for you when I see you.  I have a feeling I will be stopping in to see her again. Because no matter what our age, we can always use Titus women in our lives.
Thanks for reading.

Harvesting a Whirlwind

Hosea 8:7 says, "They have planted the wind, and will harvest the whirlwind."  In my 20's through 40's, I would say that was what I was busy harvesting, a whirlwind. I married at 18, and Brett and I moved from the mid west, to the west coast, to the east coast, to the mid west, to the east coast and back to the mid west all within the first seven years of our marriage.   Plus add two babies in those first four years.  That was the whirlwind of my early 20's.  Just typing it makes my head spin.

Then in my late 20's early 30's we were raising two elementary school children, Brett and I both working, kids involved in dance and baseball.  All heavily involved in church activities, friends, family that lived 2 hours away in different directions.  It seemed we were on the go all the time.

In my late 30's we had teenagers, need I say more?  Brett and I both working. Brett and I both back in school.  Still all heavily involved in various ministries at church.  It seemed we were all going, all the time, in different directions.  Ask anyone in my family about their favorite places to eat in St. Louis and I would bet they all mention "Bob's Chinese", and Fritz's ice cream. One of the reasons is, because as everyone started going in different directions, those were two places we met together on a regular basis and sat down and ate together.  But those were brief moments in our whirlwind life.

In my 40's it was kids in college, everyone working, graduations, and weddings.  In fact, in a six month time period, both kids got married, Brett and I both left our jobs, sold our house, left our church, friends, and kids in St Louis to relocate to Southern Illinois.  Yet, when I ended up in the ER I was surprised to be told I was having a panic attack. Imagine that.

I loved those years, but as I look back on them now, I know I planted and harvested the whirlwind.  One of my favorite lines was, "I work better under a deadline, and function better under stress".  That was a lie, who functions better under stress?  Who makes better decisions when they are rushed? I know I cultivated that life style, because if I was constantly on the go, and constantly keeping all the balls juggling in the air, I didn't have time to deal with real issues.  I didn't have to deal with issues from my past or issues in my every day life.  God will let you go on like that for awhile, but eventually He says, "Be still and know that I am God."

That is what the second half of life is for me, LEARNING to slow down.  There are still too many days, where I am still way to busy. But I have a gauge for measuring that now.  When I look down, and see that I have been too busy to cut my toenails, then I know it is time to pull down the sails, and wait for the wind to die down.

Those early years are going to be busy years, that is just part of that season of life.  But there is a difference between being busy and creating busy.  Stop and take a few minutes to examine your life. Are you planting the wind, and cultivating, and harvesting an unnecessary whirlwind.  You can choose to hang on and be tossed around by the whirlwind, or you can learn to slow down and enjoy the breeze.  The choices really are yours to make.
Thanks for reading!

Baseball Season

May again already.  It doesn't seem possible.  For my household May means the beginning of baseball season.  It means Cubs and Miners.  Brett and Chris analyzing and "discussing" the team.  How they would manage and rebuild.  I must admit as they have both grown in age, and the Lord, baseball season isn't as stressful as it used to be.  Proud of my men.

Baseball season for us, for the last six years, has also included the Frontier League's, Southern Illinois Miners.  We have been season ticket holders for six years and host parents for 5.  And it has brought many hours of fun and entertainment.

Our intention was to take a year off this season and not host.  However, as the season drew closer we were questioning that decision.  Then when Terra called, and said hey I am looking for a family close to town do you know of anyone who might be interested?  I knew it was a sign.  I said yeah in fact I do.  Soooo here we go again.

So what does hosting mean?  For us it means "adopting" a "summer son".  I can't have someone live with us for the summer and not be a part of our family.  For the first couple of weeks it means a little anxiousness and nervousness.  You want them to feel welcome, but you don't want to smother them, and have them think you are some weird stalker.  It means finding a new routine.  It means Brett no sitting around in your underwear.  It means no going to the kitchen in the middle of the night for a glass of water in your t-shirt and underwear.  You don't want to scar them for life.  It means trying to figure out what they like to eat, because they are always too nice to tell you what they like.  It means sharing the washer and dryer, so making sure you don't leave your unmentionables in the dryer.

In the four years of hosting we have experienced stitches from a golf ball, shoulder surgery, pulled hamstrings, and hurt wrists. One year we turned the dining room into an extra bedroom to take an extra player.  We have had the heart ache of seeing guys cut from the team, and the sad reality of seeing the dream of baseball end for some.  We also got to share in the elation of seeing one called up to a major league affiliated team. Once in awhile it means waking up to an unexpected teammate on your couch. It means trying to make as many games as you can. I have learned more about the ins and outs of baseball than I ever expected to know.

What else does it mean?  It means God expands my little corner of the world, while I sit right here in the middle of Southern Illinois.  In the last 4 years of hosting we have had the privilege of getting to host 9  wonderful players.  Along with those guys, came the honor of getting to meet a wife, girlfriends, parents, in-laws, Nanas and grandpas, aunts and uncles. I have new friends in California, Ohio, Iowa, and Canada.  Friends I would never have met without hosting.

Hebrews 13:2 says Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers.  So, as I sit here waiting the arrival of my  new "summer son".  I am anxious to see what new friends I make this summer.  And I encourage you, when you have the chance, open your home to a stranger.  They won't be a stranger long, and who knows how many new friends God might bless you with.
Thanks for reading.

Words I Would Say

I have been tossing around the idea of blogging for awhile, but I have so many friends who do such an awesome job, that I felt intimidated to even try.  Michelle Lunn you are so good at it.  Your blogs are so honest and real I look forward to reading them.  Stacey I had to stop reading yours at work.  I couldn't sit there crying my eyes out with people coming in.  Jamie and Jill you are so awesome at pictures and stories.  It has been so neat watching your kids grow up across the miles.  I feel like I know them.  Maria and Jamie your posts are always so inspiring, and Carrie you always have me checking if my family is safe.  There are so many others out there I love reading.  So I decided why not?

Then I struggled with what will I blog about.  The blogs I listed above are packed full of stories and pictures of cute kids.  Now I have cute kids, well not "cute", handsome and beautiful.  However, at their ages I am sure they don't want me posting their humorous moments.  Though I am sure some will find their way on here.  As I thought about it I was sure God was going to lead me to write a blog about all the wonderful, insightful, helpful, and useful knowledge I had acquired over the years.  Instead what I feel him leading me to write about is where I am right now, and that is The Second Half.  The funny sides of that.  The mood swings, the hot flashes, the night sweats, dribbling when you sneeze, the tears, all sounds wonderful doesn't it?  And the freedom.  Freedom to be at a point where you can laugh at your self.  Where you are not as worried about what everyone thinks. And being comfortable in your own skin, even if it is old and wrinkled. It is nice when it starts to fit like an old, soft, worn out, comfortable sweat shirt.

I have and have had grandparents and great grandparents live well into their 90's, so statistics say I stand a good chance of living that long.  Soooo turning 50 this year puts me starting the second half of my life. "The second half of life" does that bother me?  The number 50 doesn't drive me into a deep state of depression, but to say that half of my life is over and what did I do with it does.  Not to say that I didn't love and enjoy the first half but it certainly went by fast and not sure I accomplished all I set out to do.

Sidewalk prophets have a song titled "Words I Would Say".  So I thought about what are the words I would say to the following areas of life.  What would I tell someone was the main things I learned in the "first half" in regards to being a Mom, a wife, an employee, in ministry, as a friend, and my relationship with God.

Being a Mom - Dirty dishes, laundry, and a clean house will all be there in the second half, your little kids won't.  When they come to you with something to tell you STOP and LISTEN, really listen.  If they learn as a small child that you will take the time to stop and listen, then in their teen and adult years, when they have something important to tell you, they will know you will take the time to stop and listen.

Being a Wife - That Brett is smart (Don't gasp and act like you have NEVER thought you were smarter)  As a young adult in your late 20's or early 30's you suddenly realize your parents were a lot smarter than you gave them credit for.  As a wife in your late 40's or early 50's you come to the same realization about your husband.  The smarter I realized he was, the more responsibility I gave up, and the less stressful my life became.

Being an employee - Do the best you can, and give 100%, but don't waste your time giving 110%.  Chances are you won't be at that same job 10 years from now anyway.  They probably won't even remember your name.  That extra 10% came from some other area of your life where you were only giving 90%.  Probably family or faith.

Being in ministry - Relax, men should lead, and don't be afraid to delegate.  It is pressure off you and allows someone else the chance to grow.

Being a friend - Be open - If you are open about your not so perfect life or past, with the friend you sit down across the table to share a glass of sweet tea with (I don't drink coffee).  Then chances are she is going to heave a sigh of relief, and realize, you are someone she can share her not so perfect life with.  You both benefit.  Thanks Elaine (who does drink coffee).  You don't have to like all the same things or always agree.

My relationship with God - I was saved at the age of 14.  But in my early 40's I learned that God loved me - NO MATTER WHAT.  He wasn't going to love me any more or any less no matter what I did or didn't do.  That was a life changing turning point for me in my relationship with God.  I stopped trying to earn His love and just soak it up.  I wish I had grasped grace at a much earlier age.

So "those are the words I would say".  Any of them profound?  NO  Any of them new? Probably not.  But maybe one of them will speak something in your life today to make you stop, and think, and treat someone different.

So I hope you will drop in once in a while and see what the "second half" of life looks like.  I know some of you joined me on this journey of "50" this year.  I won't mention your names, T, D, R, C you know who you are.  Maybe you can drop by and chuckle with me.  The rest of you maybe it will give you an insight of what to look forward to.
Thanks for reading!