There are times when God speaks and speaks loud. This morning was one of those mornings for me. It wasn't that he taught me anything new. Not a new lesson, not a new truth. It's the same lesson he teaches me over and over again. Grace. Sometimes I just forget or lose my way.
This was a rough week, there were things that happen all week. Things that made me bitter, made me angry, things that made me judgmental, self-righteous, and a hypocrite. None of which I am proud of, by the end of the week I was not someone who I wanted to me. One of those weeks where you get to the point where you go how did things get so out of control that these are my reactions.
God being who he is addressed all of that head on this morning. I am in a Sunday morning book study by Angie Smith, called "Seamless". It is a great study that gives you an overview of the bible from Genesis to Revelation's in 7 weeks. Enough promotion. What it is really giving you is a theme of who God is through out the bible.
In her video this morning she made this comment, "I stepped back a couple of feet from the door and saw my reflection, and I wasn't who I used to be." God spoke softy to my heart, and I knew it wasn't that she had "performed" her way out of who she was. It was because Jesus' death on the cross had changed who she was.
Then as icing on the cake Robbey preaches on the unforgiving debtor. You know the story. The debtor who is forgiven millions of dollars worth of debt and then turns right around and demands that the man who owes him hundreds pay up RIGHT NOW.
I was hurt this week and turned around and hurt others in return. I deemed someone as white trash in my head this week because they harassed and tried to scare me. Really, are judgmental and self-righteous any better labels? The point is I have been forgiven over and over by God, yet I failed to forgive others.
I could draw a line in the sand and say I will be better this week, I can overcome myself. I can "perform" my self out of this person I don't want to be. And I can for a little while but I will fail again.
But I am not the person I used to be. That person died with Jesus on the cross. When I live out the reflection God sees. When I forgive others the way God forgives. Then I become the person I was meant to be.
Revelations 2:17 "Anyone with ears to hear must listen to the Spirit and understand what he is saying to the churches. To everyone who is victorious I will give some of the manna that has been hidden away in heaven. And I will give to each one a white stone, and on the stone will be engraved a new name that no one understands except the one who receives it."
