I am in a ladies bible study on a great book called "Grace for the good girl - letting go of the try-hard life" by Emily P. Freeman. This is my second time reading through this book. I am loving the group of ladies going through this study. As women it seems a lot of us struggle with the try hard, then try even harder life. It would also appear we struggle even harder with letting it go.
In the first chapter the author raises the question, that being found is the best part of hiding. I have been thinking about that question since chapter 1 and we are now in chapter 10 and I am still rolling that question around in my head. Because in true "try-hard" fashion, I believe the best part is finding the best hiding place.
But while I have been contemplating this question I have been observing Lily. While we are in transition between workers for the kids on Friday nights, I have been filling that position. When Lily who is 2 or 3 is back there with me she likes to play hide and seek. Lily's hide and seek is quite unique. I will hide my eyes and count to 20. I have barely turned around, and Lily will jump out of her hiding spot and with a big grin on her face she yells, "here I am".
I have been trying to teach Lily that the point of the game is to stay hid until I find her. However, for Lily being found is the best part of hiding. Maybe Lily has actually been teaching me.
As I get further in this book, I realize that is what I want. I want to be found. I want to give up those masks that I hide behind. Those masks of expectations, reputation, rule follower, responsibility, guilt, shame. You know what they are we all wear them.
I want to jump out excited and say here I am God. Like Lily I want to be found instead of hiding. I want to say here I am God, with all my rough edges, not finished, don't have it right yet. But here I am, with excited and child-like enthusiasm just to be found.
How about you, what is the best part of hide and seek for you?
You are not under law, but under grace. Romans 6:14
