Waiting

I am always making the comment to Brett "I spend half my life waiting on you".  Of course I don't, but think about how much time we do spend waiting.

We wait on some things that are small.  Like waiting for a stop light to change, or waiting on a train to pass, or waiting our turn in line.

I spent some time last week with my Uncle at Barnes hospital, he had a couple of appointments there.
Even though they were on time with their appointments we had wait time in between.

We wait for fun things.  I am waiting for vacation to get here in two weeks.  My friends Tyler and Abby are half way through waiting for baby Emma to arrive.  We wait for Christmas and birthdays.

Some things are not so fun to wait for, my niece Kyleigh recently spent 7 hours in an airport, with two toddlers, waiting for a delayed flight that was finally cancelled.  She is super Momma.

We wait for difficult things.  I know several people recently who have waited for test results to determine cancer or not.  Have you ever sat by the bedside of someone you love waiting for them to take their last breathe?  Those are the hard waits.

Right now in my life I am waiting for my house to sell, I am waiting for a grandbaby, waits that are out of my control.  Situations where I can do nothing to hurry up the wait process.

But we are in good company when it comes to waiting.  Look how long Abraham and Sara waited for a child, look how long Joseph waited in prison, Noah waited on the rain and spent the time building the ark, Daniel waited over night in the lion's den, David waited to be king, Simeon waited to see the savior.  Waiting isn't something new.

I know in my own life God uses waiting to refine me.  I am trying to be thankful for that refining.  Like when I have to wait for a train and I am running late.  I try to remember to thank God for whatever he may be protecting me from.  Because haven't we all had those times when something holds us up only to find out there was a accident just ahead of us.  Without that wait we might have been in it.

When I have to wait in line I am tying to practicing giving grace to that poor soul working.  It usually isn't their fault.  I have the choice to make their day worse or maybe just a little better with an encouraging word and a smile.

And those big life waiting moments.  I am trying to remember that God's timing is so much better than mine, that His plans and purposes so outweigh mine.  I have to believe God knew waiting was going to be a refining tool because he gives us so many verses in the bible that speak about waiting. Here is just a sampling.
Hosea 12:6 "wait for your God continually"
Psalm 27:14 "wait for the Lord"
Psalm 37:7 "wait patiently for him"
Psalm 25:5 "for you I wait all day"
Galatians 5:5 "waiting for the hope of righteousness"
Micah 7:7 "I will wait for the God of my salvation"

God knew we would be waiting but he left us instructions on how to overcome the wait.

Motherhood - It's a tough job.

I woke up this morning with a head cold, so instead of getting up with Brett to exercise I stayed in bed for another hour of sleep.  Rarely do I remember dreams but when I woke from that hour of sleep I remembered my dream.  It was very real and very strange.

Brittany and Chris were little kids again.  I came home from somewhere and the house was a wreck. In the dream I remember trying to get them to help clean up everything.  Instead of cleaning up they were all excited to show my everything they had created in the chaos. I kept my cool for a little while but then my patience wore thin.  I reverted back to my old stand by of yelling to get them to do something.

As soon as I started to yell I looked up and all the women who I viewed as perfect moms were lined up along the wall just staring at me. I felt like they were judging me.  When I woke up I felt so bad but then I realized it was a dream.

One thing I know here in the second half of life, is that we all have "failed" mommy days.  Or what we deem as failed.  I also know that if you raise your children according to God's word, He gives you just enough good days to balance out those days we think are failures.  Proverbs 22:6 says "Train up a child in the way he should go.  And when he is old he will not depart from it."  

I also know those other moms better on this side too, and see them in a different light.  I know they were struggling just as much as I was.  Instead of pretending I had it all together I should have reached out on those bad days.  I should have called one of them and said I feel like a failure.  They would have encouraged me not judged me.  They would probably have appreciated the honesty.

Young moms build a support system.  Reach out to those other moms on bad days.  And encourage each other when you see someone doing something well.  Moms of kids who are grown, say a positive word when you see a young Mom getting it right.  And give her a word of encouragement when you see one having a rough day.  

Motherhood.  It should be a bond that draws us together not one that pulls us apart.  This season too shall pass.  All too soon it will pass.  I loved that season but wouldn't want to go back and do it over again.  I am excited for the next season, grandmahood.  I hope in that season I have more patience, take more time to listen, and worry less about the clutter.  

Brittany and Chris thank you for not judging my "failed" days, not needing therapy from all the yelling, and allowing me grace in my young mom days.  



              

Chocolate for my Soul

I love chocolate.  Chocolate with almonds, chocolate with Carmel, chocolate with peanut butter, chocolate with mint, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate covered strawberries, milk chocolate, white chocolate, pretty much any kind of chocolate except dark chocolate or chocolate with coconut.  With the exception of those two it doesn't take much to tempt me to take a bite.  If its at the house I need to keep it in the cabinet or hidden somewhere so it is out of sight and out of mind.

My prayer for the New Year has been for God to put a deep desire in my heart for his word.  An unquenchable desire to read his word, to know his word, and to understand it.

Why do I have to pray that?????  I don't pray for the desire for chocolate, in fact sometimes when I am dieting I pray he takes that desire away.  So, what is wrong with my heart that I have to pray for the desire to crave God's word.  That I have to pray for the desire to read his love letter to me.

 Brett was in the Navy the whole time we were dating.  We spent most of our dating time apart.  That was years ago before cell phones, before texting, before face time.  There were phones, but they were on the wall and a call was long distance and cost money.   Therefore, 90% our communication was through letters.  Trust me when a letter came in the mail it didn't sit on my dresser unopened until I got around to reading it.  I ripped it open and couldn't wait to read what he wrote.  Nothing touches your  heart like a love letter, so why am I not as anxious to open God's word and see what he wrote to me????

I am not totally cold and hard hearted, when I sit down and read my bible my spirit is renewed, it is like a sweet  piece of chocolate to my soul, it is like a reading a love letter.  But "things" get in the way of doing that. Things like TV, social media, even good study books can get in my way.

When I walk by and see my bible sitting on the coffee table, the desire to pick it up and read it isn't always there. In fact if I am totally honest sometimes I don't even realize it is there. But, when I walk by a dove chocolate sitting on the counter I can't pass it up.

So my continued prayer this year is that he will place an unquenchable thirst in my soul for his word. I hate that I need to pray that but I also know that if we ask he is faithful to answer.

Maybe you are reading this and think what a slug, how can she not desire God's word?  If that is the case pray that he answers my prayer.  But maybe you are reading this and can relate.  If that is the case join me this year in praying for a deeper desire and craving for his word in your life.

Matthew 21:22 "And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive."

I believe we can all use a little more chocolate for our souls and bonus its calorie free.

Jeremy and Lyndsey Pelton

I recently had the privilege of attending the last Shaw daughter wedding. Lyndsey and Jeremy Pelton your wedding was beautiful and eloquent. It was a true expression of your personalities. I watched the servant heart in both of you, as you spent a large part of your reception mingling with your guests as all your friends danced the night away. What a great example of the type of ministry leaders you will be together.

I observed something else at this wedding. A Mothers love. The grooms younger brother had died in a car accident just weeks before the wedding. In honor of his memory they left his spot as groomsmen empty. They also left an empty place setting at the head table. I can not imagine this Moms emotions on that day. The ecstatic joy of sharing in one sons wedding day, while at the same time carrying the most heartbreaking grief imaginable. I commend this moms choice to chose joy.

As I thought about that my mind was immediately reminded of adoption. Because lately everything    in my life finds a connection to adoption. On the day that Brittany and Will bring home their precious baby, it will be a day filled with greatest joy for them. Yet they are already praying for the precious birth Mom. They are aware that their greatest joy comes at her greatest heartache.

But aren't these both a perfect example of redemption?  The same redemption that God offers us. Our greatest joy, salvation, comes at God's greatest grief the crucifixion of his son Jesus.  All three of these are examples of selfless love. A Mom setting aside her own grief to celebrate with her son.  A birth mom choosing life for her child. And God willing to sacrifice his Son for a sinful world.

What if we all offered up selfless acts of love. Think about how even our small actions could change this world.

Luke 6:35 But, love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.

Jeremy and Lyndsey I wish you the best and can not wait to see how God uses you as Mr and Mrs Pelton.  Congratulations!!