HOPE

This weeks Celebrate Recovery lesson is on hope.  At the beginning of the week Brett asked me the questions, "where do you find hope?"  and "what is your hope in?"  With the main news story this week, being the shootings at an elementary school in CT, hope was a far off concept.  My hope in humanity and our society was waning.  It was a fleeting thought in my already "scattered" mind. (see previous post).

But as I began to listen, and think about, and process news stories, hope began to spring.

The report of the principle and counselor who confronted the shooter.  They gave their lives to try and protect their students and their school.  They stood their posts and went above and beyond.  The story of the young teacher, a girl herself, who had her whole life her whole future ahead.  She sacrificed that, for the hope in the future of her students.

We don't know, but we can hope, that many years down the road some of those students will get the chance to stand before her in a better place, hug her and say "thanks for saving my life".  Thank you, that you not only saved my life, but because of your act of selflessness, I am here today.  Those news stories renewed my hope in humanity.

Then the story of the young Dad, standing before the world, less than 24 hours after his daughter was gunned down at her elementary school.  Standing and sharing about his last moments with his daughter that morning before school, and then saying "my thoughts go out to the family of the shooter".  That is where true hope begins, in forgiveness.  In accepting that God gave me forgiveness for my sins.  That on that cross Jesus died for my sins, along with the sins of that shooter, that he carried them all.

That's where my hope begins, with God's forgiveness; and hope spreads with accepting and giving forgiveness to others.

Job 8:13  The same happens to all who forget God.  The hopes of the godless evaporate.

Where is your HOPE this week?  

Scattered

I haven't blogged for awhile and part of the reason is this.

I wonder as princess Kate carries this future king or queen, do you think she ever contemplates what Mary must have felt like, carrying the King of Kings. What must it have been like for Mary?  Why don't we read anything about Mary's parents in the bible? My heart has heard you say. 'Come and talk with me', and my heart responds, 'Lord I am coming'.  God why isn't my response just, Lord I am here?  Why do I sometimes feel like I am constantly saying, 'just this one more thing Lord, then I will sit and be still'.  Progressive dinner what am I going to make?  God what are you trying to teach me about prayer?  Why has Robbey been teaching about it, why have I been reading a book about it, why have I listened to 4 podcast on it???  Why God?  What do you hold in store for me with prayer in the New Year?  I need to pick up a new prayer journal.  I love to start out brand new fresh journal pages.  I need to make another trip to Wal-Mart.  I keep adding to my Christmas list.  The weekend with Brett was so relaxing.  Why is it I can't, or won't, or refuse to relax like that at home?  Why am I always jumping up to do something, or start something or making a list of things to do???   Prayer really God? I haven't accomplished this thing of be still and know I am God, why would you add prayer on to it now???

This is why I haven't blogged I can't get one still logical thought in my head.

Do you ever feel like that?  Like your mind is going 200 miles an hour, and you just can't stop and focus on anything?  Part of it is Christmas.  The rush of the season.  Don't get me wrong I am a person who loves the hustle and bustle of the season.  I love the excitement of decorating, and shopping, and wrapping and going, but this year is seems like my mind just can't keep up with my body.  It must be that second half of life, unable to focus thing.  Or at least that is my excuse for this week.    

Even though I love the excitement of the season, this year my heart is feeling the jet lag of it all.  And I realized it is because the busier I get, the less focused I become on my relationship with God.  I know He is there, I know we are walking together, or in my case running together, but we aren't sitting down and being.  I am not taking time to just "be" in the presence of my Savior and my heart misses it.  And it just hit me, maybe I am catching on to some of that "just be still and know".  Maybe it is time to add, not substitute, but add more focus on prayer.

Do I have it all figured out?  NO.  Do I have it all together? NO.  But once in a while a piece does start to fall into place, once in awhile.  I am learning to just be thankful for those pieces that fit.  I don't have to have it all figured out Romans 11:33 says "Have you ever come on anything quite like this extravagant generosity of God. This deep deep wisdom? It's way over our heads; we'll never figure it out."  So I don't have to have it all figured out I just have to know the One who does.

Sheila Walsh said "I take great comfort, I don't have to get it all right, I don't have to have all the answers.  I just have to stay really close to the shepherd, and one of these days I'll discover that it's taken me all the way home."  

So, if you, like me, find yourself running in 8 different directions over the next two weeks, take comfort that you don't have to have all the answers.  But you will find some peace if you stop all 8 of you at one time, breathe, and say thank you God that You do have all the answers.
Thanks for reading!    

MAKE A JOYFUL NOISE

 I have been watching all the, "what I am thankful for" posts on face book this month.  I didn't participate, but was thinking today if I had, I would have put I am thankful for music. Music is one of those things that only brings up good memories for me.

One of the few memories I have of my Dad is associated with singing.  I remember riding with him in the car.  I wasn't very old, five or under.  It was an old car (remember this is a blog about the second half), so it had those big door arm rests.  There were no seat belt laws or car seat rules back then.  So, I was sitting on the passenger arm rest, with the window down, wind blowing in my face, radio on, singing at the top of my lungs. I don't remember the song but, I can still see my Dad smiling.

I remember going to my grandparents little ole country church with my Mom.  I can hear the piano playing,  standing between my Mom and Grandma.  I can hear the congregation raising their voices together to the hymn "The Old Rugged Cross".  Lifting their hearts together in praise and worship to their savior and the cross He died on.

I remember being at my Grandma Hanks' house.  I can still see "Pappy" sitting in the rocking chair. A baby on his knee, rocking away singing from his heart, "by and by when the evening comes, when the saints of God are gathered home".  It is a safe, comforting, warm, happy memory.

I can remember hours spent singing together with my Aunt Joyce along with the radio.  We would sing about Tammy Wynette's "D-I-V-O-R-C-E", Lynn Anderson's "Rose Garden", Anne Murray's "Snowbird", and every song The Carpenter's ever sang, "Close to You", "Top of The World", and "Rainy Days and Mondays". Those were the days before Karaoke, when hair brushes were your microphone.

Then there were hours spent singing on our picnic table with my best friend Tory.  We would belt out at the top of our lungs, Olivia Newton John, Air Supply,  Barry Manilow, and our all time favorite Helen Ready, "I am woman, hear me roar, in numbers too big to ignore."  No video games, no computers, no cell phones, no laptops, just the two of us singing a simple song for hours.

There are song memories that make me automatically laugh, Brittany and Tory singing "Lean on Me" on a street corner in Chicago.  I think they even made a couple of bucks.  The year the Sapp's recorded a CD at Christmas.  Brittany, Greg, and Scott's rendition of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas".  Every time my family sings "Happy Birthday" to someone it makes me laugh.

One of the best parts of road trips with Brett, is turning up the radio and singing together.  He has a great voice and I love to hear him sing. We both share a love for music.  The funny thing is, even though we share that passion, Brett likes the music, I like the lyrics.  Maybe another small way we compliment each other.  

Then there are Sunday mornings when I watch Chris play drums or guitar on the worship team, and it brings tears to my eyes.  Not out of pride, though he is very good, but because I am so glad he uses that talent to honor God, instead of in a bar somewhere.

Fifteen years ago or so Christian music exploded on the scene, or I just really became aware of it then.  God has used song lyrics to speak to me so often, to show me something, or to confirm something.  I am thankful through rhapsody that I can have access to so much music.  I love it when I am reading my bible, and a verse I read, is the lyrics to a song I know.  Think of how many bible verses you might  know because you know the lyrics to songs.

It is ironic that I have such a love for music, but no talent in it.  I am surrounded by people who do have that talent.  Brett, his Mom and all of his siblings have beautiful voices.  Both of my sisters and nieces have a talent for singing. My nephew has a great ability to rewrite song lyrics.  My kids are both musical inclined, both can sing and both have the lessons and talent to be able to play different instruments. I unfortunately only have a love for it no talent.

There are tons of verses in the bible that talk about singing, which makes me think, God loves music also.  I found over 20 verses in the Psalms alone that refer to singing. David believed in honoring God in song.  I believe David must have also had a love for music, no surprise since he was a man after God's own heart.

One of my favorite verses about song is Psalm 66:1, "Make a joyful noise unto God, all ye lands."   Makes me think, that even for those of us who don't have a natural talent, God still accepts our offering of a joyful noise.  I hope, like other sacrifices, it is the state of the heart that God looks at and not the song it's self.  

Thank you God for music and all the happy memories wrapped up in it.    
Thanks for reading.

In His presence

I had the privilege and honor of spending the past weekend in Bonne Terre, MO. I was at a retreat with my friend Elaine, and a group of wonderful women from her church.  The whole weekend was awesome.  Beginning Friday afternoon with a 2 and 1/2 hour car ride over by MYSELF, just me and God.  The sun was shining, the weather was warm, the trees were beautiful.  It was a country drive on hilly highways, part of it even ran along the river road.  I drove through Chester, IL, do you know who is from Chester?  Popeye of course.  Imagine.  I live within an hour and 1/2 from the home of Popeye and the home of Superman. Wow.

If you know me at all, you know I am a big music fan especially christian artist, but I chose to spend this ride with the radio off.   Still trying to work on that discipline of listening for God and being still in his presence.  The ride was amazing and I actually hated for it to end.

However, at the end of it were two of  my very good friends, Elaine and Nancy.  We have participated in so many children's, youth and ladies retreats together that this was like a family reunion.  The retreat center was such a neat place.  It is a farm, a couple from their church own it and allow churches to come for retreats.  We stayed in this remodeled barn, which is beautiful, complete with a stone fireplace, bedrooms, bathrooms, complete kitchen, hot tub, horses out the back windows.  Right out the back windows, in fact they have chewed up the screens.  Not just any horses, but Clydesdale's horses, and he had two that were 5 months old.  This place was like a Norman Rockwell painting.  Thank you Mark for your amazing hospitality.  God has certainly given you the gift of servant hood.

I was excited to get to share a testimony for one of the sessions, but even more excited about what God was going to teach me.  The retreat was based on disappointments, and each session was based on a different season of life.  One session was based on disappointment and how God gave this woman hope, one was based on disappointment and how God allowed her to be content even in the disappointment.  One was based on a disappointment in life and how God brought her through the fire of that disappointment.  Another session was  based on disappointment and how even in that disappointment God kept His promises.  Then it was wrapped up with the closing that in all these disappointments, just like every disappointment in life, we have to surrender it to God.  That it all comes down to surrender, if we want to find hope, be content, make it through the fires, and see God's promises we have to surrender all to Him.  God spoke so clearly to me through these other women, so thankful for their open and honest stories.

Then after everyone else left Saturday evening Elaine, Nancy and I stayed behind for the night.  We got to spend the evening in the hot tub catching up on each others lives.  We served together in ministry for so many years, it was so neat to see where God had taken each of us.  The new paths and opportunities he had lead each of us too.  There was a time, when a night for us in a hot tub, might have been filled with conversation that was not so pleasing to God, laced with gossip and malicious words.  But there was none of it that night.  We shared about our ministries, and families, prayer requests for people we love, and agreed to pray for each other in specific areas of our lives.

Then Sunday morning I got up for another 2 and 1/2 hour drive back home.  When I left, there was a light frost on the ground, and fog in the air.  Again, I chose to ride with no music, just me, God and the quiet in the car.  And as I drove, I began to become aware, that there is a difference in knowing God is always with you, and being in the presence of God.  We teach our kids at an early age that God is always with them, and I am always subconsciously aware of that.  But, there is a different feeling about quieting your heart, and your mind, to know you are in the presence of God.

There are two different texts in the bible where it talks about people standing on holy ground. In Exodus, when Moses stands before the burning bush in 3:5 it says, "Do not come any closer" God said, "take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground."  Also in Joshua 5, before the fall of Jericho, a man approaches Joshua and in verse 15 it says.  'The commander of the Lord's army replied, "Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy." and Joshua did.

I believe that in both these instances these men were standing in the presence of God himself, that is why it is holy ground.  I could be wrong about that, but that is my thoughts.  For me, what distinguished between the difference of God being with me, and being in God's presence, is my attitude, my submission, my heart, my mind, my surrender.  There is a difference in coming to God in that frame of mind, totally focusing on being in the presence of, a Savior who redeemed me, a God who loves me, a Son who died for me, and a Lord who wants all of me.

I have a long way to go to figure this out, but I feel like I got a little glimpse this weekend.  In my car, alone with God, I got a glimpse of what God is calling me to when he says be still and know that I am God.  And I liked it!!!!!!!
Thanks for reading!
         

          

Blessing of two Grandmothers

Growing up I was fortunate to have two grandmothers.  They shared the same name, Inez, but had complete different personalities.  Until last year, I was very blessed to have both of them still living. I know not many 50 years old can make that claim.

One of them is very outspoken and independent (She has mellowed in age).  Her independence though, is probably what allows her to still live alone in the country at 96.  My other Grandmother, who passed away about this time last year was very soft spoken, and never learned to drive.

Despite their differences, I love both of my grandmas very much.  I have made the comment on different occasions, "God, please let me inherit my Grandma Scarbrough's genes, of good health and bones, and let me inherit my Grandma Hanks's gentle spirit."  So far I have been lucky with good health, so maybe I got that, but I don't think you inherit the other one.  I think God is showing me, that is a fruit of godly living and may be a little harder to obtain.

I have been thinking about those qualities of my Grandma Hanks this week, and wishing I had spent more time with her. Wishing I had spent more time listening, and learning about how she developed those fruits of the spirit in her life.

But, I did luckily spend enough time with her growing up to make some observations about her life.

My Grandmother never had a lot, but she was very generous with what little she had.  If you were at my Grandma's house you were guaranteed a great home cooked meal.  Nothing fancy, but good comfort food.  My Grandma made the best fried chicken, and bread and gravy.  It took me a long time to master her chicken gravy but I finally did.  I think of her every time I make it.  I wish I had learned how to make her big fluffy yeast rolls.

I think that gentle, calm spirit of hers came from being content. Content with what she had.  I never heard her ask for or want anything in her life.  I think like Paul she was content.  Philippians 4: 10-13 reads "For I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."  I believe my Grandma knew what it was to be content in the strength that comes from God and God alone.

I also think her soft spoken, quiet spirit, came from Psalm 46:10. That ability to be able to be still and know that I am God.  There were times in her later years if you stopped by her house, she might be just sitting, quietly in the living room on her couch.  No TV or radio on, no book to read, just sitting there.

In the last couple of weeks I have felt God calling me to that place.  To be able to be still, and sit quietly before Him.  To be quiet and listen.  I will be honest, I am struggling with it.  To be able to just sit and clear my mind.  I have thought of my Grandma often during those times. I believe she was able to do that, and I want that peace that I think she had from learning that.  Psalm 19:14 says "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer."  I think my Grandmother lived out those words of that verse with her life.  God please let a little of that legacy fall down on my life.

To both of my Grandma Inez's I love you both, Thank you both for your legacy.

Thanks for reading!    

   

God never has a plan B

This past Saturday October 6, 2012 was my son's wedding.  Actually, my son's second wedding.  Those are bittersweet words for a Mom "my son's second wedding".  Second wedding indicates one of two things has happened, death or divorce, and neither one are something you want to see happen in your child's life.  Both represent pain and heart ache, something a Mom never wants to see in her child.  But, we live in a world of sin and choice, and things happen.

In the past week I wondered, is this God's plan "B" for Chris?  God quickly stopped that train of thought, he repeatedly put Jeremiah 29:11 in front of me "For I KNOW the plans I HAVE for you, says the Lord.  They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."  God knew this day would happen long before Chris was born, God knew this day would happen long before I was born.  God KNEW it was His plan before the world began.

I know that to be true because only God could have planned in such detail and went so far out of the box to make this wedding day possible.

I watched Chris go through a lot, and I watched him cling to God, and I watched a strong faith and walk with God develop out of that.  And at the same time, I watched KC mature, and grow into a beautiful woman. I watched her faith develop and mature and become her own.  As those two paths paralleled I watched a friendship develop between the two.  I know they spend hours talking, openly, sharing their hearts in a way you do with a best friend not a boyfriend or girlfriend.  God was developing a strong foundation of open and honest communication between the two of them

I remember the day late last summer Chris came into the office and said what are we doing for lunch?  Mom, I will ride with you to get it.  When he volunteers to go with me that usually means he has something to tell me or ask me.  We had barely gotten in the car when he said "I know this is going to sound crazy, but I think I am developing feelings for KC.  I don't know how she feels, or if anything will ever come of it, or what to do about it, but I had to tell someone."

I watched the whirlwind, carnival ride develop over the next year, and Saturday we celebrated a beautiful, God centered wedding.  It has been neat over the last couple of weeks to have different people say I knew a year ago this would happen, or I saw it at this point.  I heard KC's Grandma Thursday night say. "I knew at KC's birthday last year Chris was in love with her."

I just want to say, KC you have always been God's plan for Chris.  I could not be happier to have you as a precious, treasured daughter.  What a blessing it was on Saturday to have the Brown, Sapp families and friends, join as one around these two. It was a beautiful day and I LOVE YOU BOTH.    

Locked In

Two blogs in one week.  But this is definitely worth sharing.

This is what happens when you lead a book study called "UNGLUED"

Wednesday, I left work, and had about an hour before I needed to be at church. I was facilitating a book study, on Lysa TerKeurst new book "Unglued".  I dropped off the mail, and decided to head to the park to look over some notes.  On the way to Herrin Park, I passed the new sports park and decided to pull in there.  I had never been to the complex before and decided to drive through it.

It was much bigger than I expected with a great walking path.  At the back of the park was an empty parking lot, so I pulled over, parked, rolled down my windows, put my seat back and spent some time rereading the first couple of chapters, about how God could change my reactions to raw emotions.

Then it was time to leave for church.  Brett called as I was leaving the park.  We had a conversation, he said something that made me mad, and set me off, so I hung up on him.  Not something I have done in awhile, and not something I am proud of.  Especially not two weeks into a study on how not to come unglued.  But I did.  Sorry Brett, that was uncalled for.

As I pulled up to the side exit of the park, I noticed the gate was locked, not unusually I had noticed that gate locked many mornings on the way to work.  So, I backed up, turned around and headed to the main entrance.  But, when I reached that gate, it was also locked..  Twenty minutes before I am suppose to be at church I am locked in a park.  I started to panic.  I got out, and double checked that there really was a lock, not just a chain around the gate. I drove back through the park to see if there was anyone still in the park.  I was stuck, locked in with no way out.

I tried calling Brett, but remember I had hung up on him.  I tried Brittany she didn't answer.  I called Chris he was already at church.  I called my friend Kim, since she lives close by, but she was at a visitation in another town.  She suggested calling the Herrin police.  Then Brittany called back, she was just leaving work so I asked her to pick me up on her way.  She text me two minutes later and said, "I just have to tell you I am laughing out loud in my car."

While I was waiting on Brittany, I called the Herrin police.  The officer, trying really hard not to laugh, said I will call someone to come unlock the gate.  I said that would be great, but I have to be somewhere in 15 minutes, can someone meet me at 8:00 and unlock it.  He said I will have someone call you at 8:00.

Brittany got there still laughing, and we laughed all the way to church.

I got to church with two minutes to spare.  Then I had to come clean with my group of ladies about my "unglued" last hour.  The first chapter of this book talks about imperfect progress.  Slow steps of progress wrapped in grace.......imperfect progress.  The progress here, "I didn't slip with a chain of words I shouldn't have said" and "I didn't come unglued on the police officer about why someone didn't drive through the park to check and see if anyone was still there."   Slow steps.

2 Corinthians 10:5  "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

Oh and someone did meet me at 8:30 to unlock the gate so I could get my car.  After I had to call the police station twice.  By the second time the officer was cracking up laughing when he heard my voice.  Moral of the story don't come "unglued" and hang up on your husband.......    
Thanks for reading!!!

Hilary Clinton was right

Brittany informed me today I hadn't blogged in awhile.  So decided it was time.  I have them floating in my head or scribbled down on paper I just haven't put one on the blog for awhile.


Hilary Clinton was right or at least partly right.  She said it takes a village to raise a child.  I think it takes a church to raise a child.  Or at least I see in my kids it took a church.

After spending a couple of days in Gatlinburg with our four kids (well our two kids, son-in-law, and future [11 days] daughter-in-law), I  realized how much I really enjoy spending time with all of them.  How fortunate I am.  I am thankful for the way they turned out - did you catch that?  I am THANKFUL for the way they turned out, not proud.  Don't get me wrong I am very proud of them.  But I am not proud in the way of, "look how great my kids turned out" or "Brett and I did a great job" proud.   I am just proud of the people they are.

Brett and I were so young and so inexperienced when we had Brittany and Chris.  There are times when I wonder how they even survived.  I mean literally how they survived.  We had no idea what we were doing, and add to that, we were living away from all of our family during that period of time.  So the church really did play a major part in their lives.

God really did bless us with so many people who helped "raise" them.

From very young ages they had wonderful  women in the nursery who loved on them.  Miss Louise who taught them very early on "Jesus loves you."  Women like Miss Jane who fed them cookies for two weeks solid during VBS.  All those great VBS helpers, Lou and Irlene, Helen and Hobert, people who just loved on them.

As they moved up to the children's area they had people like Miss Wrozier, and Ron and Pat Berger, who taught them about Daniel, David, Noah, and Joshua, Jesus and his ministry.  People who had their own busy lives, but were willing to build a strong, solid foundation, into the lives of our kids.  They had people like Lou Richardson who taught Chris and Adam respect for what church is.  Not just the building but the people.

And through all those years there were the Lunn's, Pastor and his wife, building in my kids right along with their own.  Jeff at church through sermons, and Jan, through all those musicals.  Teaching them about serving God through worship and song.  And not just at church, but also in their home, my kids spent so much time at their house with Amy and Adam.

Then as they got into youth they had awesome leaders.  People like Nancy, John and Elaine, Charlie and Judy, and Dennis.  People who made youth events, overnights, and retreats a place my kids wanted to be.  Yet, in the middle of the fun they were teaching and building life principles.  Principles about how to have a walk and a personal relationship with God.  They were learning on mission trips about how to love and give to others.

So, as I sat with my kids this weekend and I listened to Brittany tell great stories; an art learned at the feet of a master story teller.  And I listened to Chris question and analyze different situations; built from a confidence of debate, I was reminded and thankful for "the village" of people who helped Brett and I raise our kids.  THANK YOU to all of those mentioned above, and those many others who are not mentioned.

Proverbs 22:6 says "Raise up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it."

Thanks for reading.  

True Courage

Webster's definition of courage is "Mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty."  We normally associate the word with policeman, firefighters, and soldiers.  Which we definitely should, they put their lives on the line every day, when they put on their uniform and go to work.  These men and women wear the badge of courage and I am thankful they do.  I am thankful to my nephew Travis who is a policeman, I am thankful to my nephew Jake who is a fireman, and I am thankful to my nephews Austin and Dalton who serve in the military.  But these men choose each day to put on that uniform, they choose each day to possibly face death.  

What about the men, women, and children who show that same courage everyday, those who didn't choose it, yet who still face death each day.  I am talking about those courageous people who face cancer daily.

Over the past 18 months I have watched 2 women I love show such courage, along with grace, kindness, hope and faith.

I watched my Aunt Joyce face cancer with such dignity, grace, kindness and courage.  I watched her go to countless Dr's appointments, and be admitted to the hospital numerous times, and each time I watched her treat everyone she came in contact with, with  kindness.  Smile when I am sure she didn't feel like it.  She was always appreciative of everyone.  Every Dr, nurse, technician, receptionist, every hospital transporter, and the person who cleaned her room.  Every person who came to visit.  If I had been in her shoes I am sure there were times I would have just screamed "Everyone get out and leave me alone!  I want to feel sorry for myself!  But she never did, not even when she had 2 major surgeries back to back. She showed courage when she had to choose on short notice to have brain surgery or probably lose her life in just a couple of weeks.  She said no I am not ready to give up yet, true perseverance.  She was always gracious and kind to everyone just like the life she lived when she was well.

During this same time I also watched my Sister-in-law, Brenda fight a courageous battle against breast cancer.    She was always upbeat, even when she was taking chemo, radiation, and having to go through blood transfusions.  When she was exhausted from all the treatments she still pushed on.  She was always full of hope, and she brought hope to others who were fighting cancer also.  She used the cancer as a platform to share how great her God is.  She wasn't sure why God had given her this challenge, but she was willing to bear it if she could use it to uplift and encourage others.  She was a source of hope and faith to her family, friends and all those around here.  She made sure to give God the praise and glory when she reached that 6 month cancer free mark.  

In the past week I have watched that same courage resurface, anew in both these women's lives. I watched it in my aunt's life, in her husband and daughter.  As they were given the news that she probably only had days left.  I watched that legacy of courage she had instilled in them.  The courage it takes to sit by the bed of someone you love, and watch their life slip away.  But they are doing it, with that same kindness and grace that she showed.

I saw it again in my sister-in-law this week, as she found a lump in her neck.  As she went for x-rays, and biopsies, and  test results. As she had to once again break the news to her kids.  She displayed that same courage, faith and hope.  That courage and hope she held onto the first time.  I think her words were, I will fight to the end I have to for my family that I love.

In Joshua 1:9 God says to Joshua "This is my command.  Be strong and courageous!  Do not be afraid or discouraged.  For the Lord your God is with you where ever you go."  Thank you Aunt Joyce and Brenda, for living out that verse for me and all those around you.  I love you both!

The Sweetest Word in the Universe

A name, everyone has one.  Unless you are the artist formally known as Prince you have a name you go by.  In some cases you have a name that goes by different variations.  Such as the name Thomas you could also go by, Tom or Tommy.  In my case I have been called, Janet, Janice, and Jan.

Maybe your name has a special family connection or history.  Chris has Brett's middle name.  Brittany has my middle name, which is also my Mom's middle name.  Though she has informed me that when she does have kids the "Lea" tradition ends here.  Which is fine, that is one of the cool things about being a parent getting to choose the name.  Maybe as young parents  we don't realize the magnitude of choosing a name.  Think about it, their name is the one thing you give your child that they will have from birth to death.

Then we marry into names.  I love the name Sapp because I didn't have it as a child.  So I missed out on the name calling that probably went along with the name.  Hey tree!  Your such a sap.  I remember my kids being called Sapplings. I think they still are sometimes.  But as a child who grew up with the last name Allphin, which no one could pronounce or spell, Sapp is so much easier.  I love the fact that Brittany's married last name was also my Dad's middle name.  I rarely say her whole name Brittany Douglas without thinking about my Dad.

When I worked as a customer service rep in a phone center, I would often rattle off the introduction in a hurry, and sometimes people would think my name was Anna or Hannah.   I know.  Go figure.  They don't sound alike.  But, I would never correct them.  I mean if they were not happy with the call or service let them call back and try to find Anna.

The point being we all have a name and whether we like our name or not it is one of the sweetest words in the universe.  We love it when new people we meet remember our name.  Or at least I do.  And even though I know that, I so stink at remembering peoples names.

I particularly love it when I hear Brett say my name.  I would much rather hear the name Janet roll off his lips than old goat or handsome woman.  Our names are special.  They signify who we are.  They define us and differentiate us from others.  I love in the bible when Jesus or God gave people new names that signified a change in them, Abram became Abraham, Saul became Paul, Simon became Peter.  Each new name represented a change in their character.

 I have been reviewing and studying some of the different names for the Lord.  There are so many, El-Channun, El Olam, Jehovah Jireh.  Each one represents a different facet or element of our Lord.  All the same Lord, but a different aspect to my relationship to him.

Kind of in the same way that different names or titles I hold represent a different aspect of who I am.  I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, an aunt, a grand daughter, a cousin, a friend, maybe even an enemy to some.  All the same person but a different perspective on how you see me.  The title of wife is different to Brett than the title of Mom is to Brittany or Chris.

I am trying to take each of the names of God and spend a day just thinking about what that means to me?   Today, Emmanuel - My God with me.  Matthew 1:23 says,  Look!  The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son, and they will call him Emmanuel, which means 'God with us.'
Thanks for reading!

Hide and Seek

I read Joshua 7 this week and it holds one of my favorite verses.  Maybe not one of my favorites, but one that convicts every time I read it.  "Hidden among you, O Israel, are things set apart for the Lord.  You will never defeat your enemies until you remove these things from among you."

This is the key verse for the story of Achan.  There is so much in this story.  To summarize God is leading Joshua and the Israelites, and they are conquering everything in their path.  But all of a sudden they go into a battle that should be easy and they lose.  Joshua doesn't understand what is going on.  God tells him,   someone in your camp disobeyed.  They took something at the last battle, that was to be set aside for the Lord. They not only took it, they lied about it and hid it.

God instructs Joshua, tomorrow morning line everyone up and I will reveal who that is.  So the Israelites all file out the next morning.  God singles out a tribe, then he singles out a clan, then he singles out a family, then he singles out Achan.  I can't imagine what Achan must have been thinking standing there on shaking knees, sweat rolling down.  He had to know it was him.  Did he think he wouldn't be found out?  Or maybe he was hoping someone else had taken something more valuable than he had.  I mean I do that, this is my sin, but surly the person next to me has a more offensive one, then mine won't look so bad.

Joshua confronts him and Achan says.  It is true, I sinned.  I saw a robe, 200 silver coins, and a bar of gold. I wanted them, I took them, and I hid them.

Joshua and the Israelites then take Achan, the silver, the gold, the robe, and Achan's sons, daughters, and everything he owed.  They stoned Achan and his whole family, then burned their bodies, and buried them under  a pile of stones.

There are a couple of really big lessons in this chapter.  First we can't hide ANYTHING from God, who are we trying to fool?  You can't play hide and seek with God He is omni everything.  I can pretend to myself, that just because I hide those feelings of jealousy, envy, anger, bitterness, and discontent from others, that I can hide them from God.  But I am only kidding myself.  It is just as insane as Achan standing there thinking the spot light wasn't going to land on him.

Second, our sin never effects just us.  Achan's sin affected the whole tribe of Israel.  Because of Achan's sin, God did not go before them in battle, and they lost. Innocent soldiers lost their lives. Wow, what if God refuses to lead my whole church in something because of my disobedience?   Then, Achan's whole family was destroyed.  Did you get that DESTROYED.  I can say my sins don't effect anyone else, but they do.  Families are destroyed every day because of consequences of sin divorce, alcoholism, abuse, hate, and selfishness.  If  we were able to think beyond I want this, to what are the consequences, would it change some of our actions?

God says in Joshua 7:13B "Hidden among you, O Israel, are things set apart for the Lord.  You will never defeat your enemies until you remove these things from among you."  He is talking about the robe, silver, and gold hidden under Achan's tent.  But he could just as well have been talking about the things hidden in my heart envy, pride, disobedience, and selfishness.  Until I remove those I will never defeat my enemy.  Would I work harder to remove them, if tomorrow morning, God ask all of Marion to file out.  Then he started singling out my church, my family, me.  What a scary thought.
Thanks for reading!

32 YEARS HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

32 years ago today I married my childhood crush, the boy next door.  I can not believe it has been 32 years. Some days it feels like it, some days it doesn't seem possible.

I met Brett for the first time when I was in 5th grade, did you catch that FIFTH grade. He was in the 8th.  His family moved into our neighborhood.  I remember the first time I saw him.  He had these dark brown eyes, and sun bleached blond hair, and he always did this weird flicking thing with his fingers.  I was crazy about him.

We had that little elementary school love thing going on.  Passing notes, do you like me circle yes or no.  He painted our initials on one of the gas tanks in the neighborhood.  I think there was some hand warming in there somewhere.  But, alas he went on to high school and out grew me.  I became just his little sisters friend.

We stayed in touch, because I was his little sisters best friend, we went to church together, and we were in high school together.  Of course I was a freshman and he was a senior, so it wasn't really like we went to the same high school.  He graduated and joined the navy.  And I would write him with all my problems.

Then one day the beginning of my senior year I dropped Tory off at her house on my way to work.  Her brother Greg came out to the car, and said you have to come in just for a minute, and see what I picked up for Mom in St Louis today.  I said I can't I am late for work.  He said it will only take a minute, so I got out and as Tory and I headed up on the porch this strange guy jumped out the door.  This man with dark brown eyes and sun bleached hair.  Greg had picked Brett up at the airport from Guam and he was home on leave for a month.  I had that same reaction as in fifth grade.  I was crazy about him all over again.

We spent a lot of time together that month while he was home.  When it was time for him to leave he was headed  for a base in Memphis for training.  So he would make it home about every 3 or 4 weeks.  We continued to date while he was in Memphis.  From Memphis he headed to San Diego and we knew before he left for San Diego that we were getting married.

I went to San Diego to see him the fall after graduation and we got engaged.  We spend our year engaged apart, I saw him once from September till July when we got married.  Keep in mind those were the days before cell phones, before texts, before face book, before skyping.  Our communication was snail mail letters, and an occasional long distance phone call.  I still have all those letters in a box.

Brett came home a week before our wedding, we got married, and two or three days later we packed up everything we owned in a small car and headed to San Diego.  I was 18 years old.  I will say there were a couple of times on the trip that I remember thinking what have I done. HA

We spent the first 10 months of our marriage in San Diego alone just the two of us.  That was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done, but was probably one of the best things for our marriage.  There was no running home to Mom if we got into a fight.  There was no calling Dad if I had car problems.  We learned to depend on each other, and lean on each other.

Were these past 32 years all fantastic?  No.  Where there problems, and issues, and difficulties, and fights, and stubbornness, and frustration, and tempers, and tantrums, and regrets, and disappointments,  and hormones, and screaming, and name calling, and struggles. YES.  But you know what, I don't think there was ever a time when either one of us ever uttered the word divorce.  There were times when we might have asked "Do you want to leave or do you want me to leave?"  But neither one of us ever used the threat of divorce.  We both believed that was never an option.  There was a confidence and security in knowing that.

Have we been married 32 years because Brett married a great wife? NO.   Have we been married 32 years because I  married a perfect man?  No, but I have been married to a man who almost every day for 32 years has made me laugh about something.  I have been married to a man, that for 32 years, I have watched God shape and mold.  I have watched God mold him into a great husband, a great father, and a great spiritual leader.  I have watched God mold and shape him into a man of great character and integrity, and I have watched God take Brett's servants heart and use it in great ways.

So what is the secret to 32 years?  God working in both our lives, and a man willing to be lead by God.
Ephesians 5:23 "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself it's Savior."

Thank you Brett for the first 32 years I can't wait to see what the next 32 hold.  I LOVE YOU!  Happy Anniversary!!!
Thanks for reading.

Yes those are hats and baby blue tuxes 

COUSINS CONVERGING

Brett and I spent last week in Santa Fe with a group of his family.  The event was called "cousins converging".  Don't you just love the title it says it all.  My husband actually gets kudos, and was a great sport  for going on this trip.  First of all he flew to Albuquerque, and drove to Santa Fe with his wife, his mother, and his sister.  He stayed the weekend in a hotel room with his sister and I.  And he was only one of two guys brave enough to spend the weekend with 11 female family members.  I think by the end of the weekend he had probably had his fill of estrogen.

The weekend was a lot of fun.  Thank you Donna Jean for doing all of the organizing and logistics.  First of all Santa Fe was beautiful.  For some reason I had it in my head it was going to be burning hot.  What was I thinking especially coming from Marion which had record breaking three digit temperatures the whole week before we left.  The weather was perfect low 80's for a high, and 50's at night.  In fact in the evenings we were wrapped up in blankets outside.  The sky was a perfect bright blue with those fluffy, cotton ball white clouds.  You know the kind, that make you wish you could lie down and take a nap on them.

The company was wonderful.  Some of these women I have known for a long time.  Tory and I have been friends since fifth grade, and Brett and I have been married 32 years, so I had crossed paths with most of them at some point and time.  There were a few that I met for the first time.

So, what do 11 women and 2 men do when they get together?  Well since it was mostly women the two most common things, eat and talk and talk and talk.  It was so much fun to sit and listen to family stories.  Stories about all these cousins when they were little, stories about aunts, and uncles and grandparents some who are no longer with us.  It was really fun when they would start a story out with Mom I don't know if you ever knew this or not but one time..........  We spend a couple of  afternoons going into town to the plaza and walking around all the neat shops, checking out the restaurants.  But for the most part we spent our time sitting around this big umbrella table outside in the shade of a big tree.  And it was wonderful.

There is one thing I have come to realize recently in my own family.  That cousins are cousins forever.  No matter how long it has been since you have seen each other, or spent time together you reconnect instantly.  That is because you share a past, a history,  a legacy.  No matter what kind of family you had, you share it.  The good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, the broken.  It is a link you have that no one can take away. What binds you together are those memories, those stories, they are yours and they can't be taken from you.  Weekends like this are great for renewing that.

So, thank you Tipsword's for letting me be a part of your family, a "hanger-on" and share the weekend.  For letting me hear the stories of all the wonderful, beautiful, strong women  who molded and shaped you.  I wish Brittany could have been there to hear them, to appreciate the legacy of women she comes from.   Deuteronomy 5:10 says "But I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those who love me and obey my commands".  May God lavish His love on you for a thousand generations.

Brett and his sister Tory

Brett and I

Brett and his Mamma

Part of the group headed into the Plaza

Those beautiful clouds this one is for you Mom!

Inside a hotel downtown

This is the whole group and how we spent most of the weekend

Three of those beautiful, strong Tipsword women.  Brett's Mom, Aunt Betty Faye, and Cousin Donna Jean 

Besides story telling there were songs as well "The wide mouth  Frog"

Ali singing squash face????

Just more scenery  

Thanks for reading.         

Chance, Coincidence, or Luck

My friend Elaine text me the weekend before her daughters wedding.  She was in just a little bit of a panic.  You see, her and her husband John had done this awesome thing.  When they had Whitney, they each  wrote a letter to her while still in the hospital.  A letter to give to her at some point in her future, telling her what they had hoped, and dreamed for her life.  They decided her wedding was a good point to do that.  The problem, over the years the letter had become misplaced.

The text said, this is it.  I am tearing the house apart this weekend looking for this letter.  I got random text from her over the weekend, telling me about cool things she had come across.  It was kind of a neat walk down memory lane for Elaine.   A chance to reminisce and relive Whitney's life over the years.  She also came across a school project Whitney had written, one where she had to write a letter to her future spouse.  Elaine did come across the letter, and decided to include the letter Whitney had written also.  What a neat legacy to be able to give your daughter on her wedding day.  To be able to show her that on the day she was born you were praying for a Godly life for her.  Wish I had thought of it.  Maybe I can steal it as a future Grandma idea.

When Nick and Whitney returned from their honeymoon, they shared with John and Elaine how much they had loved reading the letters, and how much they appreciated it.  They also shared something really neat.  The letter Whitney had written was dated, and guess what the date was?  Nick's birthday, how awesome is that? God knew when Whitney was writing that letter who she would marry and when his birthday was.  I love when God lets us see those God winks.  Some people would call that luck or chance or pure coincidence.  But I don't serve a God of chance, coincidence or luck.  Psalm 139:16 says "You saw me before I was born.  Every day of my life was recorded in your book.  Every MOMENT was laid out before a single day had passed."  Nothing happens in my life that He didn't already know.  So I love it when those things happen.  It is like God winks and says, check it out, every little detail falls into place in my timing, and I want to share those little secrets with you..

One of those winks happen to me just a few weeks ago.  While Brett and I were traveling three weekends in a row, we listened to Brett's MP3 player, and would try and guess who sang each song.   Brett is so much better at that than I am.  Anyway, I was reading a book. Renee Swope "A Confident Heart," awesome book by the way highly recommend it.  I was reading and in the book she was talking about waking up one morning feeling discouraged, but the night before she had set her alarm to a christian station.  While she was laying there fighting  feeling inadequate, a song came on the radio and she was relaying the words, she said it was a Twila Paris song "God is in Control".  I love Twila Paris, so made a mental note that Monday, I needed to look up that song.   I hadn't gotten two paragraphs down the page when Brett said, who sings this song?  I had been reading so wasn't really paying attention.  I picked up the MP3 player and saw the name Twila Paris. I thought how cool is that, then the name of the song flashed across, you guessed it "God is in Control".  A God wink, not chance, not coincidence, not luck.   


A wink, as if to say, yes this life story is yours but I wrote and created it.  Nothing happens that I don't already know.  There is no chance, no luck, no coincidence, it is all part of a intricate, carefully laid out plan created just for you.  Thank you God that I am not relying on luck, or chance or random coincidences and thank you for those times you wink and remind me of that.
Thanks for reading!

Top 25 list for Nick and Whitney's Wedding

                                        
Brett and I attended the last of our three weddings this weekend.  We made an overnight trip to St Louis to attend the wedding of Nick and Whitney.  Whitney is the oldest daughter of one of my dearest and closest friends Elaine.  Congratulations Mr and Mrs. Nick Strubhar beautiful wedding.

I wanted to come up with a different way to share this wedding, since you are probably all tired of my wedding updates.  So, here goes.

Top 25 things I loved about the Strubhar wedding - in no certain order.

1.  I loved that we have known Whitney since she was 4 years old and they first came to Park Church.
2.  I love that we got to travel back to St. Louis to attend this wedding.  That I got to spend some more time with "traveling" Brett.
                                         
3.  I loved the gift bag and personal card when we checked in to our hotel.
4.  I loved the simple but eloquent decorations on the church stage.
5.  I loved seeing so many old friends.
                                    
6.  I loved that Elaine called me that morning crying, but she did awesome through the whole evening.
7.  I love that Nick is a cubs fan and  loved his Cubs grooms cake.
                                 
8.  I love that all the siblings were in the wedding party.
9.  I loved the tiny little flower girl, that was hesitant to walk down the aisle (at all three weddings, each flower girl brought a chuckle from the crowd).
10.  I love that the person officiating knew Nick and Whitney so well, that made it so personal.
                                  
11.  I love that you can always count on the fact that Ron and Pat Berger, and Dovie Wood never age.
12.  I loved the cupcakes, made by the Brides sister (way to go Lynds wish I had another).
13.  I loved that the Mother of the bride and Mother of the groom were escorted to their seats by their husbands.
14.  I loved the table decorations, who knew burlap and mason jars could be so eloquent.
15.  I loved the brides dress it suited her perfectly, it looked  like it was designed just for her.
16.  I loved the best mans (brother of the groom) speech, and the presentation of a cubs jersey to Whitney with her new name and the #12 so so she will always remember the year she became a Cubs fan.
18.  I loved the view of downtown St. Louis at night from the reception loft.
19.  I love that they make such a cute couple, and both have a conviction to have God at the center of their marriage. 
                      

20.  I loved the shoe game, that was so cute.
21.  I loved getting to take pictures with some wonderful women who played such an important role in my life, the women I raised my children with.  I love that these women all had such an impact on my kids.

                                                                                                               

                                 

22.  I loved that Nick and Whit held hands through out the whole ceremony.

                                    
22.  I loved that the bridesmaids all had the same color dresses, but each had one that suited their own style and taste.
                        ..     
23.  I loved sharing a table with the Rosetta's.
                        
24.  I love that we have stayed in touch with this family after leaving St. Louis and that they all still feel like family.
                       
25.  And last I loved that after the lighting of the unity candle, both sets of parents prayed a blessing over this couple.

Proverbs 22:6 says "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it".  It is very obvious that both sets of parents have done just that.  They raised their children to love, honor, and respect God.  To put him first in their lives, and because of that I am confident as this couple starts out their life together, God will be at the center of it.  Does that mean things will always be easy and run perfectly smooth?  No, this next year will be a year of learning and growing for both of them.  But I believe as they face changes this next year, and grow as a couple, they will remember those things their parents taught them, and they will cling to those lessons they learned growing up.  Nick and Whit thanks for letting us share in your celebration we love you guys.
Thanks for reading.

A Daughters Choice

You can not attend three weddings in a month and not reflect on your own.  Weddings have changed so much since Brett and I got married 32 years ago.  When Brett and I got married, you had the ceremony upstairs in the sanctuary, and then a cake and punch reception in the basement of the church.  I love that weddings now are an all day event and such a celebration of two lives joining together.

There are so many decisions a bride must make.  Location of the wedding and venue for the reception, a date that is open for both, choosing who is in the wedding, colors, dresses, flowers, decorations, cake, and food, the list goes on and on.  As I watched these three brides there was one decision I was glad they didn't have to make, Sarah, Kayla, and Whitney were all walked down the aisle by their Dad.  Dads they grew up with.

As a young bride of 18 one of the toughest decisions I had to make was who was going to give me away, my Dad or my step-Dad.  I came up with this awesome plan.  My Dad could walk me down the first half of the aisle to represent that he was there in the early years of my life.  He could walk me half way to Gary shake hands and hand me off.  Gary could walk me to the end to represent that he raised me through the middle years of my life. He could give me away to Brett to spend the rest of my life with.  Unfortunately, that plan didn't come to me until many years later.

So, I had to make that tough choice.  After many hours of soul searching I made the choice to have my step-Dad walk me down the aisle. I then had to write my Dad and explain my decision.  I received a letter back from him, telling me he understood and respected my decision but that I must also respect his decision not to be at my wedding.  That was very heart breaking for me, but I took it in stride.  I handled it like all other hurts and disappointments in my life.  I stuffed it deep down never to be thought about again.

Now in the second half of life, after working through all those buried pains, hurts, and disappointments, I can be  grateful.  I can be thankful that the decision was so hard, because I had two wonderful Fathers to choose from.  Jeremiah  29:11 says  " For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Even before I was born, God knew I would have these two wonderful men as Dads.

So, on this day set aside to honor our fathers.

Harvey - Thanks for being a great Daddy, for giving me life and making me feel like a princess in the early years of my childhood.  I love you and miss you and would give anything to have just a couple of hours to sit down with you.
                                    
Gary -  Thanks for being a wonderful Dad. For ALWAYS treating me and loving me as if I were your own. Thank you for raising me through those difficult years and for always being there.  I love you.  Happy Fathers Day.

  

And to Brett thanks for being a terrific Dad to Brittany and Chris.  To all those great examples of wonderful fathers in my life Grandpas, uncles, brother-in-laws, nephews, and friends HAPPY FATHERS DAY!
Thanks for reading.

Trip to Arkansas/ Kayla and Evan's Wedding

Brett and I attended our second wedding of the summer this past weekend.  This one in Fayetteville Arkansas.  Congratulations Kayla and Evan Reynolds.  This was an outside wedding, which can be a gamble in June.  But the weather was beautiful just enough of a breeze to make it a perfect evening to be out.  Though the breeze did play havoc on the beautiful full veil.  But the bride had an awesome Dad who did a great job of keeping it under control walking down the aisle.  Way to go Kendal.

It was a beautiful entourage of men in black tuxes and girls in beautiful flowing yellow gowns.  The flowers in mason jars, hanging from ribbons made beautiful isle decorations.  And the two flower girls dressed in white were precious. One stole the show with her attitude.  Not sure if it was an attitude of I am scared and don't want to mess up, or an attitude of I don't really have time in my schedule for this.  But it was a crowd pleaser either way.  There was a good recovery on the grooms part over the vows in the exchange of the rings.

The reception was beautiful, in a converted horse barn complete with horses in the corral outside.  Good food, good company, good band with lots of dancing.  Loved the sparklers as the bride and groom left the reception.  Lokers and Reynolds what a wonderful celebration of the beginning of two lives and families joining as one.

For Brett and I was a great chance to get out of town for the weekend, and a great chance to stop by and see Brett's Dad and Martha on the way back.  Spending seven hours in the car on the drive down Saturday was a great chance to reconnect.  To spend time talking, holding hands, joking and laughing together.  Maybe it is just us but we both become different people when we travel.  As the miles put us further away from responsibilities we both begin to relax.

We talked about that a little on the ride. I actually made the comment "I like this Brett, why can't he come home with me?"  And I know he could honestly make the same comment.  Why is that?  For Brett and I, I know a lot of it is technology.  Because here we are at home both sitting on separate computers, the TV is on with the sound off and we are listening to the Miners game on the radio, with phones beside us both.

Those things that were created to help us stay in touch with others, can actually pull us away from those people who live in the same house with us.  

Matthew 6:21 "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."  This verse is talking about where you invest your money, is where your heart lies, either in the things of heaven or earthly things.  Can't the same be said for my time?  What I spend the majority of my time doing shows where my priorities lie.  Technology itself isn't a bad thing, but if it takes up all my time, and I don't have time for Brett, then it becomes a bad thing. So, what is the answer?  Maybe for Brett and I, it means an hour a night spend with each other no phones, no computers, no TV, no DVR, no facebook. Maybe we designate one night a week as no technology night.  But the important thing is that we find a way to bring those traveling people in off the road.
Thanks for reading.

Brittany's Surprise

I am sure it seems as if all my posts recently have revolved around a kiss or a wedding, but hang with me. Chris and KC just announced their engagement, and Brett and I are in week two, of four weekends out of three having weddings.  So my mind is kind of in wedding mode.  And lets face it, who doesn't like a good wedding story?  It is why sitcom TV shows always ended the season with a wedding or a birth.  Especially the older ones.

This wedding story revolves around a bridesmaid.  In an earlier post I stated that Chris and KC had a lot of their wedding planned before the proposal.  They had already chosen who was going to be in the wedding party.  Chris had chosen Will as his best man, and he had told me KC was going to ask Brittany to be a bridesmaid.  Chris had talked with Will, but KC had not had the opportunity to ask Brittany.

A week or so before the proposal Brittany and I were out getting a pedicure and doing some shopping. A fun girls day out.  While getting our pedicures there was a girl getting her hair in an updo for prom.  Brittany said ahhh I want to go to prom again.

Then while we were shopping we saw a couple other girls with their hair ready for prom.  Brittany said, I told Will it isn't fair he gets to dress up for the wedding.  Then she started joking around with comments like, do you think KC would think I was a stalker wanna be bridesmaid?  If I just went along with them to get my hair done, and got a dress the same color as theirs, and maybe the shoes and jewelry?  And I went along to get my nails done.  We were having fun joking around, but the whole time I was cracking up, because I knew KC was going to ask her. It was so fun knowing this thing she wanted was ahead in her future.  And it was all I could do to keep from telling her, but I didn't.

A couple of weeks later they were all coming to our house for lunch along with the Smiths.  KC came in carrying these two really cute girly gift boxes. They were full of nail polish, lip gloss, bath stuff, and Tylenol. She gave one to Angie and one to Brittany.  Brittany had that funny look on her face she gets when she isn't sure what is going on.  Then she pulled out a card that read, will you be a bridesmaid?  Brittany actually squealed with childlike, girlish, joy and delight. I think there might have even been a tear in her eye.  Uncommon for a Sapp girl   It was the perfect reaction. As a Mom, it was so much fun to get to witness such delight in one of my adult kids.

I wonder is that what it is like for God?  When I am talking,and praying, and dreaming about a hearts desire, and He knows it lies just down the road.  Psalm 37:4, Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.  God, when I receive those hearts desires, please don't let me just be grateful.  Let me squeal with childlike, girlish joy and delight.  Cause as a parent I know it must bring a smile to your face.
Thanks for reading

SEALED WITH A KISS / JAKE AND SARAH'S WEDDING

This past Saturday we had the privilege of attending the wedding of one of my favorite nephews. Congratulations Jake and Sarah.  It has been fun watching this relationship grow and mature over the past few years. They make an awesome couple and it is going to be fun to see what God has in store for them in the future. We are so glad to have you as part of the family Sarah, even if you are a Cardinal's fan.

The wedding was beautiful, perfect weather, a spectacular church out in the country.  Complete with a handsome groom and beautiful bride.  An entourage of good looking groomsmen and pretty bridesmaids.  The cutest flower girl and ring bearer you could imagine. (Sorry they were, even if they are my great niece and nephew.) Way to go Adelyn and Hayden.  Throw in bright colored flowers, wonderful singing, and the support of lots of family and friends.  A perfect wedding.

Though there are always those few little things that make each wedding special.  Getting everyone there on time, the flower girl who got cold feet and tears, and the "get away" bus running out of gas.  And I noticed something during the ceremony, that I thought was just a sweet gesture, but after thinking about it, I thought maybe it was one of those cute wedding glitches,  

The priests said at the end of the ceremony there are times for applauding and this is one of those.  Please applaud with me as I introduce for the first time Jake and Sarah Buhnerkempe.  As they turned around the bride and groom squeezed in a kiss. I thought how sweet, then I realized, oh no he missed saying you may kiss the bride.

So, I decided to do some research on "you may kiss the bride".  One of the sites I looked at said that not all catholic weddings include the kiss. I don't know if that was the case in this particular instance, or if it just got skipped, but I love that Sarah and Jake made sure it got in there.

I started researching to find out where the tradition of kissing the bride began.  Before researching, I thought it was just a way of sealing the marriage agreement, you know the saying "sealed with a kiss". Some do trace the tradition to ancient Rome, whereby the exchange of a kiss signified the completion of a contract.  And yes marriage is a contract between two people, but more importantly marriage is a covenant between those two people and God.  See Rob I do listen to your sermons.

But I did learn something new from my research.  (Even in the second half of life there is still room for learning. Maybe more room because the older you get, the less you realize you know.)  What I did find out, was that many people hold to the belief that the kiss symbolizes the exchange of souls between the bride and groom. Binding them together forever. Which fulfills the scriptures in Genesis 2:24 and Mark 10:6-9 "that the two shall become one flesh".

So, good job Jake and Sarah on getting the kiss in.  I am sure that your two souls will abide happily ever after.  Thanks again for letting us share in your special day.  We loved it.
Thanks for reading.

The Kiss

Kiss me like you mean it

Hold me like you will never let go, and 

Let me see love reflected in your eyes

I got to thinking about what the three main things are that I want from Brett.  And these are the first three that came to mind.   To do one blog on all three would be too long.  It is my goal to keep these posts short, so they are easy to read in a few  minutes.   So I am going to break this into three different posts and will blog about the other two at a later time.     

"Kiss me like you mean it."  Now, let me start out by saying that Brett is a GREAT kisser.  He always has been.  With that being said, we have been married for 32 years and together two years before that.  So that is a lot of years to keep kissing the same set of lips and not take them for granted.    

Recently, my sister in law Tory and I got to sneak away in the middle of the week and catch a cubs day game.  The sun was out in the bleachers, the sky was a perfect blue, Reed Johnson was right on the field in front of us  and the cubs won.  It was a perfect day.  After the game it took us awhile to find our way back to our vehicle. We were lost. Thank you nice young man on the street corner, with your phone app, for pointing two middle age ladies in the right direction. We were at least smart enough to remember the name of the bar and grill that we parked behind.  Anyway, when we got to the parking lot there was only our car and one other left.   Standing beside the other vehicle were a man and woman locked in a deep passionate kiss.  They were kissing from the time we walked up, to the time Tory backed out the car, and I got in, and still while we pulled away.  I got in the car and said "I want to be kissed like that."

So what was I really saying?  I realize that those two possible met in that bar that afternoon, and the guy was trying to make a good impression with that kiss.  Maybe they both were.  Was it the passion in the kiss I was envying?  Maybe, I am pretty sure they were going to have to send a search and rescue team to locate his tongue in her throat. Was it the length of the kiss?  Could be, I am guessing she had a neck ache by the time it was finished, he was a pretty tall guy.   

What  really  drew my attention to that kiss, was that they were so engrossed in each other.  They didn't know there was anyone else around. The building behind them could have blown up and I don't think they would have known.  The only thing they were focused on was each other.  It was a kiss that said I am totally committed to only this right now.  This is the only thing that has my attention.


As I thought more about that, I began to realize, that I am probably the culprit not Brett.  How often does it happen that Brett comes to kiss me, and I am in the kitchen doing something.  What is it about men and the kitchen?  I am more worried about what might be heating on the stove than what could be heating up between us.  Or he comes to give me a good bye kiss in the morning, as I am getting ready for work.  How many times have I kissed him holding a blow dryer in my hand or a curling iron in my hair?  Or how many times have I kissed him with one eye on something else, the clock, the dogs, the TV?


Colossians 3:23 says, "whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men."  Now I am sure a kiss is not what Paul was referring to in this verse.  (Though it does come out of the same passage as wives submit to your husbands, and husbands love your wives.)  But it is talking about doing the best you can, putting everything you have into what you are doing.  Being focused on that one thing, and putting your whole heart into it.  Why not apply that to a kiss?

If I want to be "kissed like that" I need to be anxiously anticipating and ready.  Or better yet, I need to surprise Brett and be the initiator.  So, if you are near that important person in your life, take a minute, and kiss them like you mean it.

Thanks for reading.