I DO SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF

I was talking to a friend the other day. She asked me if we had any leads on our house selling yet.  I said no, and I was OK with that right now.  I realized there is a lot going on the rest of this month and I would be freaking out if I were in the middle of looking for a house right now.

I said I am really OK with the house right now.  That I was at peace with it.  That if it was going to sell it would, and it would sell on God's time.  And if it doesn't sell than I am convinced that meant we weren't suppose to sell and God would provide.

She said what a good place to be.  At peace.

It is.  There are not a lot of areas that I am at peace on, but I am at peace on our house selling and I am at peace with Will and Brittany's adoption.  I am at peace that no matter what happens in the upcoming election God is still on the throne and in control.

So, it isn't the big stuff that gets me.  The major adjustments and events in life don't usually knock me down.

But, I do sweat the small stuff.  When little things fall apart.  Like when the schedule at work is set and a driver can't run that makes me lose it.  Or if I have to change my plan, that makes me lose it.  When I think I have things under control and something upsets my apple cart, that stresses me out.

I thought about this for a little while and I know what it is.  The big things are out of my control.  I know that and accept that so I am comfortable turning those over to God and finding peace in the fact that He is in control.

It's those small things like schedules, and plans, and people, and ministry, and controllable things that throw me for a loop.  Why?  Simple - I can depend on myself for those things.  I can depend on my own abilities to make sure they work out.

In the small things I depend on me and not on God, because I feel like I can control it, I feel like I can do it myself.  Just like a small child as they start to stretch their independence.  "I can do it by myself."  But that is not what God intends even in the day to day simple things.

Proverbs 16:9 says "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps".  My old inside self wants to plan everything, to have everything in it's spot where I think it belongs and how it goes.  However, all my planning in the world isn't going to change the path God has already set in place in my life.  God establishes my steps, the giant steps and the baby steps.  I just need to put one foot in front of the other and let him lead the way.  

Do you sweat the small stuff??